Author Topic: Good insults about Hollywood?  (Read 4170 times)

Vidya

Good insults about Hollywood?
« on: January 28, 2020, 04:04:01 PM »

I googled but the put-downs I found aren’t actually about Hollywood. Can you think of some funny put-downs my character can make about Hollywood in general?
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2020, 04:08:16 PM »
How edgy/racy do you want to get?  I can think of a few, but I don't know if they're appropriate for your target audience or not.
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Vidya

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2020, 04:09:15 PM »
edgy/racy will do. i might be able to tone them down.
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2020, 04:13:33 PM »
edgy/racy will do. i might be able to tone them down.


Yeah... I don't know.  I'll give it some thought.
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notthatamanda

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2020, 09:14:20 PM »
"They're full of goop."

Find the story of Paltrow standing in front of the giant flower vagina.  If that doesn't give you inspiration I don't know what will.

 
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Eric Thomson

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2020, 11:40:23 PM »
I call it Hollyweird

And when I  feel particularly uncharitable, Pedowood.
 

Tom Wood

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2020, 12:56:31 AM »
This might give you some ideas:

 
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lea_owens

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2020, 04:11:25 PM »
My new book, out earlier this week, has lots of Hollywood insults in it. It's sort of an enemies-to-lovers romance about a Hollywood star who'd rather be a rancher and an Australian writer who'd rather be at home with her books, but she has to interview him. A decade earlier, she served a stint in Hollywood as a scriptwriter and has lots to say about the misogynistic culture of talent vampires who suck the creative juices of others until they are empty husks to be tossed aside.

There are lines like, Once home, she saw everything in perspective and knew she had been drowning in California, and the men around her held her under the water. and, when her final script The Future Of Emptiness was produced and directed by women because the woman who financed it knew the men of Hollywood wouldn't touch it -   The men who controlled the industry shunned the film because they recognized themselves in the predators who hunted talented women, and in the vultures who feasted on their carcasses.

So, my insults might be a tad 'cranky women don't like the men with big egos and small man-bits' for what you want. Ricky Gervais is always disturbingly close to the truth with his insults.
 
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Luke Everhart

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Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2020, 08:36:09 AM »
This might give you some ideas:



This is the best 8 mins in the history of tv!!! :clap: :icon_lol2:  :tup3b
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R H Auslander

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2020, 11:25:34 AM »
This might give you some ideas:



Lots of good quotes in this one, and seems that some of the hedonistic **** in the pigsty had the effrontery to look mildly offended.
 

Vidya

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2020, 11:31:18 PM »
Thanks, everyone. I never watch award shows—too long and boring--but I did watch Ricky Gervais’s opening monologue when they televised it.

My hero goes to another universe and has to describe Hollywood to his new friends. Does the following dialogue work; how does this sound:

“What did your dad do before he drove a rickshaw?” I asked.

Kaya sighed. “He used to start businesses.”

“Oh, he was a businessman?”

“Well, he started them anyway,” said Devika. “Like the time he sold--” Her fingers made air quotes-- “‘conversion kits for men with unnatural urges.’”

“Oh, dear god,” I said.

“Exactly. The kits consisted of injections and tablets. He figured he was safe from disgruntled customers. But one day, two men came banging on our door.”

Kaya shuddered. “That was scary. I thought they’d break the door down and attack us. They didn't leave until Mummy threatened to call the police. Who could arrest them for having unnatural urges.”

“This story did have a happy ending,” said Devika. “The men bonded in their mutual hatred of Daddy.”

“True love is always born of hate,” I said. "Just ask Hollywood."

"Hollywood?" said Kaya.

"An evil place. More predators than in Congress. More pedophiles than in the priesthood."

Kaya looked squiggle-eyed at me. Perhaps she felt pedophile priests were an evil oxymoron. I envied her her innocence. Except I didn’t.
 

notthatamanda

Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2020, 01:15:26 AM »
Thanks, everyone. I never watch award shows—too long and boring--but I did watch Ricky Gervais’s opening monologue when they televised it.

My hero goes to another universe and has to describe Hollywood to his new friends. Does the following dialogue work; how does this sound:

“What did your dad do before he drove a rickshaw?” I asked.

Kaya sighed. “He used to start businesses.”

“Oh, he was a businessman?”

“Well, he started them anyway,” said Devika. “Like the time he sold--” Her fingers made air quotes-- “‘conversion kits for men with unnatural urges.’”

“Oh, dear god,” I said.

“Exactly. The kits consisted of injections and tablets. He figured he was safe from disgruntled customers. But one day, two men came banging on our door.”

Kaya shuddered. “That was scary. I thought they’d break the door down and attack us. They didn't leave until Mummy threatened to call the police. Who could arrest them for having unnatural urges.”

“This story did have a happy ending,” said Devika. “The men bonded in their mutual hatred of Daddy.”

“True love is always born of hate,” I said. "Just ask Hollywood."

"Hollywood?" said Kaya.

"An evil place. More predators than in Congress. More pedophiles than in the priesthood."

Kaya looked squiggle-eyed at me. Perhaps she felt pedophile priests were an evil oxymoron. I envied her her innocence. Except I didn’t.
I'd go with more "felons" than Congress.
 

VisitasKeat

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Re: Good insults about Hollywood?
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2020, 03:23:29 PM »
Here is one more:

The heroine wants her new friends to watch "The Terminator" movie.

And, as they watch on, the scene when Arnold with his big muscles talking in Sara Connor's mom's voice over phone literally gets them into uncontrollable laughter!

After the movie gets over, one of them says: "Surely we cyborgs aren't capable of such mom voice adaptations. The man with those big muscles, talking in female voice shows how your Hollywood goofs up things in the middle, in what otherwise happens to be an awesome movie."