Covid-19. The Lighter Side

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I expect everyone has been receiving similar funnies about the coronavirus. I thought it might be fun to share some to lighten the mood.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Only essential services

[Maggie Ann]

Good one, Jan.

I know this one is uniquely Florida, but it's so true that we don't go into disaster mode until Jim shows up in town from the weather channel.

[PaulineMRoss]

I know this one is uniquely Florida, but it's so true that we don't go into disaster mode until Jim shows up in town from the weather channel.

Here in the UK, there was a long spell when we wouldn't believe a situation was serious until Kate Adie showed up (the BBC's warzone deployment at the time).

[TimothyEllis]

These from FB...

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I think someone should make a book of all these 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Got loads scattered all over my computer 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Some people have too much time on their hands 

[Vijaya]

Jan, thanks. A friend sent me a link with several pictures that are funny: https://parade.com/1011521/juliebawdendavis/coronavirus-memes/

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Jan, thanks. A friend sent me a link with several pictures that are funny: https://parade.com/1011521/juliebawdendavis/coronavirus-memes/

Thanks for these.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

There must be more of these around.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

So many clever people

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Have to make a special file for these.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

This one is so true.

[formerly Sapphire]

Upfront confession: I'm stealing this from a friend's Facebook post and I have no idea of the original source. It made me laugh and I want to share here.
"I used to cough to cover up a fart. Now I cough to cover up a fart."

[Jeff Tanyard]

Don't forget to wear your dust mask!   

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

We can always make a plan

[TimothyEllis]

We can always make a plan

You know, that probably works a lot better than say a sock mask, or a plain cloth mask. No gaps.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

We can always make a plan

You know, that probably works a lot better than say a sock mask, or a plain cloth mask. No gaps.

True. But not sure how well you can breathe through it 

[TimothyEllis]

We can always make a plan

You know, that probably works a lot better than say a sock mask, or a plain cloth mask. No gaps.

True. But not sure how well you can breathe through it 

Try it and let me know.

I want pics.

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

We can always make a plan

You know, that probably works a lot better than say a sock mask, or a plain cloth mask. No gaps.

True. But not sure how well you can breathe through it 

Try it and let me know.

I want pics.

 

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Dogs must be suffering too.

[TimothyEllis]

Dogs must be suffering too.

Cats are getting more notice though.

Dogs suffer in silence. Cats break things to show their displeasure. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I like cat ones 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

nothing like being prepared well in advance

[TimothyEllis]

nothing like being prepared well in advance

That's what I got for Easter.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Make sure you get the right fit though. 

[TimothyEllis]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

one of my favourites 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

We don't need more lockdown exercise videos. What we DO need is a DIY haircut video. 

[Maggie Ann]

We don't need more lockdown exercise videos. What we DO need is a DIY haircut video. 

That's the best one yet. 

[Mammasan]

Not trying to be political here, but won't it be ironic if it turns out that future historians adjudge that in the world's greatest democracy, it was Russia who got Trump elected and China who got him booted. 

[Eric Thomson]

Not trying to be political here, but won't it be ironic if it turns out that future historians adjudge that in the world's greatest democracy, it was Russia who got Trump elected and China who got him booted. 

If Russia could get Trump elected and China could get him fired, then the USA isn't a democracy, let alone the world's greatest.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

We don't need more lockdown exercise videos. What we DO need is a DIY haircut video. 

That's the best one yet. 

I wrote that one, but don't know how to add a background etc. 

[Maggie Ann]

We don't need more lockdown exercise videos. What we DO need is a DIY haircut video. 

That's the best one yet. 

I wrote that one, but don't know how to add a background etc. 

[Luke Everhart]

This is a lighter side thing. Unless there are some super fans of the guys in the pic(? hopefully not) and grumbling ensues, feathers ruffle, knickers knot, and so on. It's funny! And humor is a great medicine so... here's a spoonful of sugar er, with medicine (kinda ruined the metaphor 😏)

🤣 (just in case some don't get the reference it's an Austin Powers thing with the archvillain and MiniMe)

[Luke Everhart]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Fortunately I don't have this problem  .

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Does anyone know how to upload an mp4 (VLC) video? I have some really funny ones on my WhatsApp.  Don't know where they originated.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Police are stringent in enforcing the lockdown regulations 

[TimothyEllis]

Does anyone know how to upload an mp4 (VLC) video? I have some really funny ones on my WhatsApp.  Don't know where they originated.

How big are they? If you can get them to me, I can upload them here and post them.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Does anyone know how to upload an mp4 (VLC) video? I have some really funny ones on my WhatsApp.  Don't know where they originated.

How big are they? If you can get them to me, I can upload them here and post them.

Can I email them to you?

[TimothyEllis]

Does anyone know how to upload an mp4 (VLC) video? I have some really funny ones on my WhatsApp.  Don't know where they originated.

How big are they? If you can get them to me, I can upload them here and post them.

Can I email them to you?

If they are small enough to email, sure.

[TimothyEllis]

https://writersanctum.com/Covid-1.mp4

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

https://writersanctum.com/Covid-1.mp4

Great you managed to upload it.   

This is one of my favourites 

[Shawna]

We don't need more lockdown exercise videos. What we DO need is a DIY haircut video. 

I actually saw one of these. It only works for certain types of hair, though.

women:

men:

[VanessaC]

I love this thread! Thanks, Jan, for starting it.

I have come across lots of dog-related posts - quite like this one.

[Maggie Ann]

We don't need more lockdown exercise videos. What we DO need is a DIY haircut video. 

I actually saw one of these. It only works for certain types of hair, though.

women:

men:

I finally got desperate enough to attack my hair with scissors. Didn't come out half bad. and no, I'm not brave enough to post a picture.

[TimothyEllis]

I finally got desperate enough to attack my hair with scissors. Didn't come out half bad. and no, I'm not brave enough to post a picture.

After yet another 'cut way too short' haircut a long time ago now, I stopped getting mine cut. I quickly worked out how to cut my own hair. It might not look like a layered cut, but it's ok, and I never did care about hair shape.

It helps if you have a mirror system which allows you to see both sides of your head reflected from another mirror. Mirror doors on cabinets are really good for getting the perspective better.

But once you figure it out, you wonder why we bought into the need for professional hairdressing in the first place. Especially when they never do it the way you ask them to.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

We can't buy alcohol or tobacco in SA, so this doesn't apply here 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Haven't tried this one - yet. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

One for the pommies

[JRTomlin]

We don't need more lockdown exercise videos. What we DO need is a DIY haircut video. 

That's the best one yet. 

It's funny because it's the truth.

ETA: I was just for the first time ever forced to trim my own fringe. Came out better than expected.

[Jeff Tanyard]

I finally got desperate enough to attack my hair with scissors. Didn't come out half bad. and no, I'm not brave enough to post a picture.

After yet another 'cut way too short' haircut a long time ago now, I stopped getting mine cut. I quickly worked out how to cut my own hair. It might not look like a layered cut, but it's ok, and I never did care about hair shape.

It helps if you have a mirror system which allows you to see both sides of your head reflected from another mirror. Mirror doors on cabinets are really good for getting the perspective better.

But once you figure it out, you wonder why we bought into the need for professional hairdressing in the first place. Especially when they never do it the way you ask them to.

With practice, you can get by with just the one bathroom mirror.  You can cut the back by feel.

I stopped paying for haircuts in 1997.  Been cutting it myself ever since.  I use clippers for the sides and scissors for the top.

Advice for y'all attempting this for the first time: Always cut off less than you think you should.  You can always go back and remove more hair, but you can't put that hair back on.  Better to make several passes that end up looking good than to make a single pass that butchers it.  The first few times you cut your own hair, it might seem like it's taking forever, but you will get faster with practice, I promise.  Also, stick a wadded-up half-square of toilet paper in each ear before you start.  If you don't, the little hair pieces will get in your ear and increase the wax buildup.

[Eric Thomson]

 A clipper, set to #3. Run over the entire head.  Finish sides and back with clipper set to #2, then do the lower edges at #1.  Did my hair that way every  4 weeks until I retired from the army nine years ago.  This time around I'm going for the grizzly adams look.  Last haircut was late January.  I usually do my beard when I get a haircut.  Last beard trim was late January.  NHL players let it all grow during the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I consider this my Wuhan Plague Playoffs.

[Luke Everhart]

China forked up again...

[Maggie Ann]

A clipper, set to #3. Run over the entire head.  Finish sides and back with clipper set to #2, then do the lower edges at #1.  Did my hair that way every  4 weeks until I retired from the army nine years ago.  This time around I'm going for the grizzly adams look.  Last haircut was late January.  I usually do my beard when I get a haircut.  Last beard trim was late January.  NHL players let it all grow during the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I consider this my Wuhan Plague Playoffs.

My hair  is short, but not as short as it would be if I used clippers, even at number three. I just don't have the guts to try it.

[LilyBLily]

I've cut my own and other people's hair in the past, but I never was particularly happy with the results and I hate being responsible for someone's bad haircut. The video above is not for curly hair, alas.

If I just take off an inch or so all around, I'll still look as if I had a professional haircut. I hope. Anyway, no one will see me, so who cares?

[JRTomlin]

I've cut my own and other people's hair in the past, but I never was particularly happy with the results and I hate being responsible for someone's bad haircut. The video above is not for curly hair, alas.

If I just take off an inch or so all around, I'll still look as if I had a professional haircut. I hope. Anyway, no one will see me, so who cares?

I walk my dog so people see me at least from a distance. I'm not even touching the rest of my hair. I don't have nearly that much nerve. Better to just let it grow out if it comes to that. We're bound to be able to go back to stylists eventually, right? 

[TimothyEllis]

Always cut off less than you think you should.  You can always go back and remove more hair, but you can't put that hair back on.

Well, you can. It just takes a month or so. 

A clipper, set to #3. Run over the entire head.  Finish sides and back with clipper set to #2, then do the lower edges at #1.

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

A clipper, set to #3. Run over the entire head.  Finish sides and back with clipper set to #2, then do the lower edges at #1.  Did my hair that way every  4 weeks until I retired from the army nine years ago.  This time around I'm going for the grizzly adams look.  Last haircut was late January.  I usually do my beard when I get a haircut.  Last beard trim was late January.  NHL players let it all grow during the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I consider this my Wuhan Plague Playoffs.

[TimothyEllis]

https://writersanctum.com/Covid-2.mp4

[notthatamanda]

A clipper, set to #3. Run over the entire head.  Finish sides and back with clipper set to #2, then do the lower edges at #1.  Did my hair that way every  4 weeks until I retired from the army nine years ago.  This time around I'm going for the grizzly adams look.  Last haircut was late January.  I usually do my beard when I get a haircut.  Last beard trim was late January.  NHL players let it all grow during the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I consider this my Wuhan Plague Playoffs.

Yeah my husband hasn't shaved since he started working from home. Between the four of us we might get one haircut a year and the last one was pretty traumatic as the little one decided she wanted short hair, we donated it, but the next day she had major regrets. That was in October I think and she still mentions it almost daily.

Jeff - there is a Bobby Orr special coming out soon, I'll PM you when I find it if you are interested. His book was also really good.

[TimothyEllis]

 

[cecilia_writer]

I completely agree re cutting your own hair, Timothy. I've been doing my own for years apart from getting my hair done for my son's wedding a few years ago, and even then I didn't think it was actually worth the money

[JRTomlin]

We all have our own priorities. A good hairstylist is one of mine but I was talking to my daughter yesterday and we agreed... nope. Not any time soon. We are both letting our hair grow out though rather than putting scissors to it. I did cut my own hair when I was about four years old and shall we say that the results were not good. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Maybe swapping children for a while would suffice 

[Jeff Tanyard]

Jeff - there is a Bobby Orr special coming out soon, I'll PM you when I find it if you are interested.

Sure, that's cool.

Maybe swapping children for a while would suffice 

[TimothyEllis]

From FB.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Another thought from the fridge. 

[Maggie Ann]

[Shawna]

But once you figure it out, you wonder why we bought into the need for professional hairdressing in the first place. Especially when they never do it the way you ask them to.

I've never been able to find a stylist I wanted to go to consistently. There was one who did it great the first time, and each successive time got worse, even though I was *supposedly* getting the same thing. It was even harder to find someone who could consistently cut it well when I had a pixie cut, which was one of the big reasons that I never last long with a pixie cut before I give up and grow it out again.

The past couple years I've mostly been cutting my own hair. But it's a long and layered/messy style, so it's not that technical. As long as I don't hack at it so much I overdo it (which I did once), I'm usually fine.

[LilyBLily]

I've had a fair number of bad haircuts in my life. Once I was stuck away from home and needed a haircut and went to the nearest Hair Cuttery chain outpost. The result was presentable, but I kept thinking the cut reminded me of something. Finally I realized he had given me Bea Arthur's hairstyle. Only 30 years out of style. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

we can't even buy alcohol in SA 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Hmmm. Stuck for words. 

[notthatamanda]

I had a hair stylist (using the term loosely) at the chain we all call "Horrible Hacks" tell me it was difficult to cut one side of my head because she was right handed.

We had a great hair stylist for three decades but her crazy partying lifestyle finally caught up with her. (We saw it in the paper.) I had given up on her long before that because she couldn't keep her schedule and I didn't have two hours to spend getting a haircut.

[Maggie Ann]

I had a hair stylist (using the term loosely) at the chain we all call "Horrible Hacks" tell me it was difficult to cut one side of my head because she was right handed.

We had a great hair stylist for three decades but her crazy partying lifestyle finally caught up with her. (We saw it in the paper.) I had given up on her long before that because she couldn't keep her schedule and I didn't have two hours to spend getting a haircut.

I had a wonderful stylist. First she did exactly what I wanted. Then she gradually got me used to what I needed. I can't wait to get back to her.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Going to be a lot of fixing of DIY cuts 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

You gotta admire the imagination.

[TimothyEllis]

You gotta admire the imagination.

You know, being cardboard, that is probably more effective than most masks are.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

You gotta admire the imagination.

You know, being cardboard, that is probably more effective than most masks are.

But not very breathable, except for around the edges where droplets could also escape. 

I'm surprised that big companies haven't started making face masks with their logos on and giving them away free. (or have they?)

[idontknowyet]

You gotta admire the imagination.

You know, being cardboard, that is probably more effective than most masks are.

But not very breathable, except for around the edges where droplets could also escape. 

I'm surprised that big companies haven't started making face masks with their logos on and giving them away free. (or have they?)

nah they are selling them
https://www.shopdisney.com/face-masks/

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

You gotta admire the imagination.

You know, being cardboard, that is probably more effective than most masks are.

But not very breathable, except for around the edges where droplets could also escape. 

I'm surprised that big companies haven't started making face masks with their logos on and giving them away free. (or have they?)

nah they are selling them
https://www.shopdisney.com/face-masks/

Glad they are donating some. The price looks rather high if I convert to SA Rands. I thought Coca Cola or similar would be handing them out free or at a cheap price.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Whatever works for you. 

[TimothyEllis]

Read from left to right on both shelves.

[VanessaC]

Whatever works for you. 

 

I love the expression on the cashier's face. 

[Maggie Ann]

Read from left to right on both shelves.

I couldn't read the titles. Two small. So I copied the image onto a Word document and could read the titles just fine. It's very clever.

[TimothyEllis]

Read from left to right on both shelves.

I couldn't read the titles. Two small. So I copied the image onto a Word document and could read the titles just fine. It's very clever.

Right click the image, and view image. It opens it at its true size.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Not a bad idea, but you have to wear a mask as well as a shield because the mask protects other people. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

another inspirational mask. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I wonder what the 2020 year books will look like? 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Stuck for words

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

You can always make a plan

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I guess we all know now

[spin52]

Thanks for giving us a laugh in such stressful times. My husband (no relation to you) has now taken to asking, "has Jan posted anything else yet?"

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Thanks for giving us a laugh in such stressful times. Mt husband (no relation to you) has now taken to asking, "has Jan posted anything else yet?"

   Got quite a few more stored in various places 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Is this what they mean by horsing around?

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Hmmm, a double duty mask.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Good for clearing people from a park 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

enough to scare anyone into staying a safe distance away 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Good observation 

[Jeff Tanyard]

enough to scare anyone into staying a safe distance away 

Looks like a Star Wars villain.   

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Hope she doesn't get mistaken for garbage 

[Maggie Ann]

Hope she doesn't get mistaken for garbage 

Notice the people who are around her are not wearing masks. Now they are saying the masks do not prevent you from getting infected, but they prevent you from infecting other people other people.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Hope she doesn't get mistaken for garbage 

Notice the people who are around her are not wearing masks. Now they are saying the masks do not prevent you from getting infected, but they prevent you from infecting other people other people.

That's correct. We wear face SHIELDS to protect OURSELVES, but we still have to wear a face MASK to protect OTHER people. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

You gotta wonder where these people get these from. Maybe all the Halloween costumes are being put to a secondary use 

[TimothyEllis]

Um...

[notthatamanda]

Oh that one made me laugh.  I am pretty lame.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Lends new meaning to "I just came straight off the beach". 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Demon_Lord]

 

[Luke Everhart]

from the Babylon Bee, the latest polling
🤣
(It's satire obviously 😂 and satire that would do Jonathon Swift proud (recall his "A Modest Proposal from 1729 for ex))

"U.S.—A new poll has been released that shows most Americans are comfortable with staying in lockdown for a while longer. In fact, according to the poll, a full 68% of Americans say the lockdown shouldn’t end until all diseases are eradicated, along with war, hunger, and any form of suffering."

"This sentiment was repeated by many different Americans. “Opening up before everything that could hurt people has been eliminated could just lead to people dying,” said Kelvin Grant, an online journalist, who spoke via Zoom. “Let’s just hide in place until everything bad goes away.”"

“As long as there are diseases and other bad things out there, it’s only safe to stay inside away from everyone else,” agreed Grace Wilson, a web designer, who spoke through a mail slot. “Like I saw a wasp outside the other day. We shouldn’t go outside until all wasps are gone. Or else someone could get stung. Stung by a wasp.”

"A number of governors expressed solidarity with the poll results. “Everyone really should stay locked down and do everything I tell them until all bad things are gone,” said Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. “Anything else could lead to death, disease, wasp stings, stubbed toes -- lots of badness. That’s why if anyone is outside when I tell them not to be, the police will shoot them.”

"Since eliminating all bad things could take a long time, there are now some new initiatives to help people shelter in place for months longer, including instructions on how to burrow underground and live as mole people."

https://babylonbee.com/news/68-say-lockdown-shouldnt-end-until-all-diseases-are-eradicated-and-there-is-no-war-hunger-or-suffering?utm_content=buffera1589&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

They actually had a discount sale on toilet rolls at one of our stores. 

[Luke Everhart]

EGAD!? 😳😱 The undead are here and they are running the Los Angeles health department.
This is a real photo of the Los Angeles Dept of Public Health Director.
There are scarier things than covid19...

[JRTomlin]

I finally got desperate enough to attack my hair with scissors. Didn't come out half bad. and no, I'm not brave enough to post a picture.

After yet another 'cut way too short' haircut a long time ago now, I stopped getting mine cut. I quickly worked out how to cut my own hair. It might not look like a layered cut, but it's ok, and I never did care about hair shape.

It helps if you have a mirror system which allows you to see both sides of your head reflected from another mirror. Mirror doors on cabinets are really good for getting the perspective better.

But once you figure it out, you wonder why we bought into the need for professional hairdressing in the first place. Especially when they never do it the way you ask them to.

I 'buy into it' (a rather insulting phrase, by the way) because my hairstylist makes my hair look good every time she cuts it.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Needs must 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I think this reflects how a lot of us feel 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

beats sneaking out in your pjs 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

The statistics for burglaries were going down, but unfortunately have begun creeping up again.   

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Exploring new positions 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[notthatamanda]

I do enjoy these so much Jan. Thank you.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I do enjoy these so much Jan. Thank you.

Thanks. Have to keep scrolling back to see which ones I've already posted 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I think a few parents will identify with this one 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

But he IS wearing a mask 

[Mammasan]

Saw this and got a chuckle:

"ATTENTION:

If you or a loved one has been refused entry to a private business for not wearing a mask and you would like to explore legal options to protect your constitutional rights, our law firm is happy to explain just how f*cking stupid you are."

[LilyBLily]

Funny headline from Publishers Weekly:

"Everything Is Dystopian Enough, Thanks"

The rest is typical trad pub:

"As our own world grows more dystopian by the day, editors across the industry are shying away from acquiring dystopian fiction."


Are those of you writing dystopian experiencing lower sales? Or is this just trad pubs being scared?

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Saw this and got a chuckle:

"ATTENTION:

If you or a loved one has been refused entry to a private business for not wearing a mask and you would like to explore legal options to protect your constitutional rights, our law firm is happy to explain just how f*cking stupid you are."

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[VanessaC]

Funny headline from Publishers Weekly:

"Everything Is Dystopian Enough, Thanks"

The rest is typical trad pub:

"As our own world grows more dystopian by the day, editors across the industry are shying away from acquiring dystopian fiction."


Are those of you writing dystopian experiencing lower sales? Or is this just trad pubs being scared?

I'm not a dystopian writer, but flicking through the TV and film offerings on Amazon Prime suggests that disaster movies are doing really, really well - Contagion is in the top five choices offered to me of popular films on Prime.

[notthatamanda]

They have happy endings, thus the appeal, I'm guessing.  Avoid the movie "Downsizing" if you are looking for a happy ending. Find something with the Rock or Bruce Willis kicking butt and taking names.

[LilyBLily]

They have happy endings, thus the appeal, I'm guessing.  Avoid the movie "Downsizing" if you are looking for a happy ending. Find something with the Rock or Bruce Willis kicking butt and taking names.

I love action movies, the more cartoony and over the top the better. Clint Eastwood's Magnum series was exactly like an English Renaissance revenge play, even to the body count per movie. (The same 17 dead as in Hamlet, which is also a classic revenge tragedy.) Loved them.

[Luke Everhart]

  for referencing one of the five best movies of all time! 😁

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I've had another go at planting tomatoes 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

But you should also have a shopping bag 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[DrewMcGunn]

Jan,

Your posts put a smile on my face. Thank you so much.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Jan,

Your posts put a smile on my face. Thank you so much.

Thanks 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

There was a wall of toilet paper at my local store. I think the rush has worn off 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Luke Everhart]

This may get zombied for the obvious political content but it's today's Washington Times featured cartoon and I think it's funny and a lighter side of covid thing.

[Luke Everhart]

😂 🤣

[Jeff Tanyard]

Just FYI, Luke: I'm not seeing the images you're posting unless I right-click and select "view image."  Until I do that, I'm just getting a blank square.   

You might want to consider using Imgur to embed images.

[TimothyEllis]

Just FYI, Luke: I'm not seeing the images you're posting unless I right-click and select "view image."  Until I do that, I'm just getting a blank square.   

You might want to consider using Imgur to embed images.

 

I'm seeing them just fine.

Something set on your system to suppress them?

[Jeff Tanyard]

Just FYI, Luke: I'm not seeing the images you're posting unless I right-click and select "view image."  Until I do that, I'm just getting a blank square.   

You might want to consider using Imgur to embed images.

 

I'm seeing them just fine.

Something set on your system to suppress them?

Maybe.  I use ad blockers and stuff, so maybe one of those is interfering.   

[TimothyEllis]

 

https://writersanctum.com/Covid-3.mp4

[Maggie Ann]

  for referencing one of the five best movies of all time! 😁

Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

This just happened, but it has gone viral. Christ Cuomo was interviewing his brother Governor Andrew Cuomo, and just played a joke on him. It was funny because it was totally unexpected. I haven't laughed so loud in a long time.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1263279877014331393

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Luke Everhart]

😂👍

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[VanessaC]

 

Jan, thank you again for this thread - it's just what I need today!

[Al Stevens]

When a ventriloquist throws his voice, how far do the droplets go?

[notthatamanda]

When a ventriloquist throws his voice, how far do the droplets go?

You know with a mask, we can all be ventriloquists.

[Al Stevens]

The prez agreed to only elbow bump and not shake hands. But he couldn't. His elbows are too small.

[Al Stevens]

This pandemic might have improved air quality but it's also degraded Internet quality. Everybody's home clogging up the bandwidth. Maybe it's a "porndemic."

[Al Stevens]

Remember when "swapping spit" was romantic?

[Al Stevens]

Spit happens.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

When a ventriloquist throws his voice, how far do the droplets go?

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

When a ventriloquist throws his voice, how far do the droplets go?

You know with a mask, we can all be ventriloquists.

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Luke Everhart]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Can't say you weren't warned 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

South Africa
Sale of alcohol has been banned since the first lockdown on March 24th. People (some) are getting desperate. Stage 3 of the lockdown comes into effect on June 1st and alcohol will again be on sale - but only for home consumption. We are anticipating queues and hoarding.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Another one for South Africans  . Schools are also set to open on June 1st.

[notthatamanda]

Um, can you remind me what this school thing is again?

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

Just saw this on Quora.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

A new kind of back problem 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

Some might not understand this one.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Eric Thomson]

[Eric Thomson]

[Eric Thomson]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

With public toilets closed in many places this might become a necessity 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

They left out the pelvic thrust.

[Mammasan]

I got taken to a midnight showing of that movie years ago, didn't know anything about it. One of the best times of my life!

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Luke Everhart]

The fridge and the voodoo one 🤣👍

Ok, I didn't write this tweet but it was on my feed and it's hilarious and apropos so...

"I can't believe it's riot season already. I still have my Covid decorations up."
😁😂

(the tweeter's handle was 'Tommy Shamrock Go Irish')

[LilyBLily]

Thanks, Jan. Much better than trolling the internet for bad news.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

The fridge and the voodoo one 🤣👍

Ok, I didn't write this tweet but it was on my feed and it's hilarious and apropos so...

"I can't believe it's riot season already. I still have my Covid decorations up."
😁😂

(the tweeter's handle was 'Tommy Shamrock Go Irish')

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Now that alcohol is available again in SA ... 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Luke Everhart]

Yes, this absurdity is a real Contra Costa county guidelines update. (It's a county in California E by NE of San Francisco)
Not sure if this one is a laugh or cry though

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

  I bet many of you remember this era.

[LilyBLily]

Oh, lord! The VW bus! It would shake at 65 mph, which back then was a typical speed on any highway. We had some good times, possibly because we were young and stupid. Somehow, we survived anyway.

[notthatamanda]

In one of my books I wrote about the clutch cable snapping. It was so common that people kept a spare clutch cable in the vehicle. My characters, however, dug around in the back and found the previously snapped clutch cable.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

https://writersanctum.com/Covid-4.mp4

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I'm sure plenty of people will identify with this 

[VanessaC]

I'm sure plenty of people will identify with this 

  This could have been written for me ... 

[Maggie Ann]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

good answer 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Eric Thomson]

Heh 

[VanessaC]

Heh 

Love it! 

[Jeff Tanyard]

Heh 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Too true 

[Jeff Tanyard]

[Al Stevens]

If I insist you wear a mask, is that facial prejudice?

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

They are about to allow hairdressers to open in SA. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Too true 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Our restaurants are soon to open again - with restrictions.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

At least we oldies now have an excuse for not recognising someone 

[TimothyEllis]

At least we oldies now have an excuse for not recognising someone 

 

That one I definitely pay.   

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I think a lot of people will identify with this 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Perhaps this is a good time to untangle the fairy lights   

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

  Yes, this is a tall order going on my experience 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[notthatamanda]

Jan, I just want to say that I appreciate you posting these. For the most part they really brighten my day.

[Luke Everhart]

Jan, I just want to say that I appreciate you posting these. For the most part they really brighten my day.

Me too. Most of them are great 😂👍

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Jan, I just want to say that I appreciate you posting these. For the most part they really brighten my day.

Thanks  . Then I'll continue posting them 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[VanessaC]

Jan, I just want to say that I appreciate you posting these. For the most part they really brighten my day.

Seconded - I know I can always come here for some light relief, and it really helps, thank you, Jan!

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Jan, I just want to say that I appreciate you posting these. For the most part they really brighten my day.

Seconded - I know I can always come here for some light relief, and it really helps, thank you, Jan!

  You are welcome.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

We've just been locked down in quarantine as we had a positive case in our retirement village. Waiting for the health dept. to arrive   

[Maggie Ann]

We've just been locked down in quarantine as we had a positive case in our retirement village. Waiting for the health dept. to arrive   

Jan, that is not good news. I'm assuming the health department is going to test all of the residents. Nursing homes and rehabs have been hit hard here in Florida. They are now calling Florida the epicenter of Covid 19.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

Thread's unlocked.  Let's party.   

[Maggie Ann]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

  open again 

[TimothyEllis]

open again 

Just as well visible straps is not an issue these days.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Nick G]

Be careful what you wish for, that's for sure. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

This is more scary than funny.  Perhaps it should go in another thread.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Very true for most countries. 

[notthatamanda]

What is tracky bottoms? Does that mean stretchy pants?

[TimothyEllis]

What is tracky bottoms? Does that mean stretchy pants?

Track suit.

Sweat pants is the lower part of a track suit. The kind of thing people wear over short to the gym or sport, or before doing serious exercise, in colder climates.

Hugely popular in the 80's and now downgraded to drack wear.

[notthatamanda]

Oh, here we call them sweats, joggers or yoga pants. Slight difference between them but all very forgiving if your tailored bottoms no longer fit (guilty).

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I wonder if sales of pyjamas have soared 

[notthatamanda]

You fancy people and your pajamas. I just wear underwear.

[Maggie Ann]

You fancy people and your pajamas. I just wear underwear.

And I have fancy nightgowns suitable For walking the dog. 

[VanessaC]

I wonder if sales of pyjamas have soared 

Bizzarrely, as I've been working from home for ages, I'm finding that I'm actually dressing more smartly during work days, and wearing make up at home - now I have to attend video meetings. Weekends all bets are off, though. 

[notthatamanda]

I have a friend whose boss makes them keep their camera on all day so she can keep an eye on them. My friend needs a new job and not just for that reason.

There is definitely a mental thing about getting dressed, and if I am having a bad day I will make myself do it, just to kick my frame of mind into a different state, sometimes it helps. But otherwise I prefer to save on laundry.

[Mammasan]

This from the Internet:

'A friend of mine is visited by a cat every afternoon. One day the cat turned up with a GPS tracker on his collar. The next week the cat's owner turned up and asked my friend if he could not feed him, as the tracker revealed that the cat had been visiting six different houses in his daily travels, and yes, he was a chonker.'

[Luke Everhart]

This belongs in the lighter side because it's comedy of the absurd.
A screencap from KTLA channel 5 in Los Angeles on the latest covid19 updates from California's governor (Gavin Newsom).

[Luke Everhart]

[Maggie Ann]

[Maggie Ann]

[Maggie Ann]

Mars officially bans all flights from Earth. Says it will review policy in 5000 years.

[TimothyEllis]

Mars officially bands all flights from Earth. Says it will review policy in 5000 years.

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

I always plane a murder before I sand or varnish it.

[Jeff Tanyard]

Mars officially bands all flights from Earth. Says it will review policy in 5000 years.

I always liked Mercury better anyway.   

[TimothyEllis]

From Instagram: Read the ringed comment before you look at the image.   

[Maggie Ann]

[Luke Everhart]

It's a joke but... replace satellite with drone and a lot of governors have probably actually been considering the idea 🤨

[Maggie Ann]

That joke was originated with the Cabbage Patch dolls craze.

"In 1983, a Wisconsin radio announcer joked that a B-29 bomber would drop 2,000 Cabbage Patch Kids into Milwaukee County Stadium. People should bring catcher’s mitts, and whoever grabbed a doll needed to hold up their credit card to be photographed.

At least a dozen people actually showed up."

https://timeline.com/cabbage-patch-craze-867ce8d076c

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Especially for writers 

[Maggie Ann]

Especially for writers 

 

[Vijaya]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Should this be in the garden thread? 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

There's a lot of facial expressions that can be going on behind a mask 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

There must be a good reason behind these decisions 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

SA's virus cases are soaring. Our president announced last night that with immediate effect the ban on the sale of alcohol will be reinstated because of the number of alcohol-related trauma cases taking up beds in hospitals. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Luke Everhart]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I believe the nasal swab is quite sore.

[Maggie Ann]

I believe the nasal swab is quite sore.

My son-in-law works at a hospital and, of course, they test every day. They are no longer doing nasal swabs. They are doing throat swabs similar to a strep test.

[Maggie Ann]

I was going to post this in the coronavirus thread but after watching it I felt it was more appropriate for the lighter side.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I was going to post this in the coronavirus thread but after watching it I felt it was more appropriate for the lighter side.

Is this for real???

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Ain't this the truth 

[TimothyEllis]

Ain't this the truth 

Douglas Adams must be having hysterics in his grave.

The Golgafrinchams sent off the useless third of their population into space and then subsequently died of a virulent plague contracted from a dirty telephone.

The third who went into space crash landed on a planet in the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy, and it was subsequently revealed to be the Earth, 2 million years ago.

Now we're in danger of being wiped out by a virulent virus contracted from a dirty telephone.

You can't escape destiny!

 

[Maggie Ann]

Ain't this the truth 

I think I remember using this phone. I know we had to pick up the phone and jiggle the crossbar until an operator answered. Would then have to give her the number and she would connect you. I lived in a small town but definitely not rural.

[notthatamanda]

Ain't this the truth 

We had these and my uncle was a repair man for them. You had to call the phone company from your neighbor's house and he would come and take it apart and fix it.

[Hopscotch]

Ain't this the truth 

I can recall having to book a call with the operator for long distance to grandma.  No spam in those days, of course.  But The Phone Co no less tyrannical than what we have now, as in James Coburn's "The President's Analyst" (there's a merry lockdown afternoon).

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Correct mask wearing should be mandatory 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Sports reporters have a difficult job 

[R H Auslander]

Sophia doing what she loves best, playing with children. Second photo is Sophia after months of lock down and no children to play with.

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

At least it has a smile   

[idontknowyet]

At least it has a smile   

Why you be posting pictures of me!!!!!!

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

At least it has a smile   

Why you be posting pictures of me!!!!!!

Is it a selfie? 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Walmart seems to feature a lot 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Interesting question 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I can relate to this one 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Can't make these in SA - still got an alcohol ban 

[Maggie Ann]

[elleoco]

Latest and bestest way to wear a mask:

https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/representative-jerry-nadler-a-democrat-from-new-york-and-news-photo/1220701613

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Latest and bestest way to wear a mask:

https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/representative-jerry-nadler-a-democrat-from-new-york-and-news-photo/1220701613

  (in lieu of a face palm)

[TimothyEllis]

Latest and bestest way to wear a mask:

https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/representative-jerry-nadler-a-democrat-from-new-york-and-news-photo/1220701613

  (in lieu of a face palm)

That's not a face mask. He's pretending to be a Klingon.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

So what risks are you taking ? 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I wonder if we'll ever get back to normal in my lifetime 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Maggie Ann]

[Mammasan]

A masked protester wearing a protective vest threw an explosive device at a federal courthouse. He got identified and caught because his Grandmother, who’d bought the vest for him to protect him from rubber bullets in the protests, posted a review of the vest along with a photo of him modeling it. (Guy’s defense: “The device I’ve been accused of allegedly throwing was allegedly given to me by an unknown protestor with full face coverings. I was allegedly told that it was a strobe firework that wouldn’t damage the building or harm anyone around it.” Arrested for felony arson --which has a minimum of five years [and it probably doesn’t help that the guy was on probation for a felony conviction at the time.])
So heh, Thanks Grandma!!!

[Luke Everhart]

A masked protester wearing a protective vest threw an explosive device at a federal courthouse. He got identified and caught because his Grandmother, who’d bought the vest for him to protect him from rubber bullets in the protests, posted a review of the vest along with a photo of him modeling it. (Guy’s defense: “The device I’ve been accused of allegedly throwing was allegedly given to me by an unknown protestor with full face coverings. I was allegedly told that it was a strobe firework that wouldn’t damage the building or harm anyone around it.” Arrested for felony arson --which has a minimum of five years [and it probably doesn’t help that the guy was on probation for a felony conviction at the time.])
So heh, Thanks Grandma!!!

Grandma scores one for sweet Justice! ...even if accidentally 😂

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

A collection - some old, some new. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Surely proof that we don't think this virus is going away any time soon 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

It's already winter here.

[Luke Everhart]

A revelation about Goliath (yep, that Goliath, the giant Philistine)
😁

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-experts-determine-goliath-died-of-covid-19?utm_content=bufferbd000&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

🤣

[Jeff Tanyard]

A revelation about Goliath (yep, that Goliath, the giant Philistine)
😁

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-experts-determine-goliath-died-of-covid-19?utm_content=bufferbd000&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

🤣

One researcher suggested that Goliath did not die of coronavirus but simply ODed, having been stoned. But then the other researchers realized he was telling a dad joke and told him to shut up and keep digging.

 

[Maggie Ann]

A revelation about Goliath (yep, that Goliath, the giant Philistine)
😁

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-experts-determine-goliath-died-of-covid-19?utm_content=bufferbd000&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

🤣

One researcher suggested that Goliath did not die of coronavirus but simply ODed, having been stoned. But then the other researchers realized he was telling a dad joke and told him to shut up and keep digging.

 

 

[LilyBLily]

Good one!

[TimothyEllis]

The Claymore mask. 

[Jeff Tanyard]

The Claymore mask. 

I sort of want one.   

[R H Auslander]

The Claymore mask. 

I sort of want one.

Certainly helps with social distancing, but the back blast might be a little hard on your eyebrows.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Ouch 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Vijaya]

These cats/dog photos and captions are so great. Thanks Jan.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

These cats/dog photos and captions are so great. Thanks Jan.

I'll post some more 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

That cat with the punk-rock mohawk looks badass.  \m/     \m/

[Vijaya]

Thank you, Jan. My cats are sitting on my papers, the one I'm trying to revise.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I can believe it 

[notthatamanda]

Actually I got caught in a thunderstorm walking this morning and learned you CANNOT breathe through a wet cloth mask. It sucks up against your face and no air gets in. I rarely see anyone when I am walking and am able to social distance if I do, I just do it to set a good example for my kids.  But that was a surprise.

[TimothyEllis]

Actually I got caught in a thunderstorm walking this morning and learned you CANNOT breathe through a wet cloth mask. It sucks up against your face and no air gets in. I rarely see anyone when I am walking and am able to social distance if I do, I just do it to set a good example for my kids.  But that was a surprise.

Plastic shield as well time?

[Eric Thomson]

Actually I got caught in a thunderstorm walking this morning and learned you CANNOT breathe through a wet cloth mask. It sucks up against your face and no air gets in.

That, in a nutshell, is waterboarding.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Writers would never make this kind of boo-boo - would they? 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[LilyBLily]

This is so true. I'm sure someone has already written a science fiction story in which cats are in fact evil aliens just waiting for the command to destroy us all. 

[Hopscotch]

I'm sure someone has already written a science fiction story in which cats are in fact evil aliens just waiting for the command to destroy us all.

Whoa!  They're not?

[Eric Thomson]

I'm sure someone has already written a science fiction story in which cats are in fact evil aliens just waiting for the command to destroy us all.

Whoa!  They're not?

The dog told me they are and he never lies.

[Jeff Tanyard]

This I believe.

My own dearly departed cat was fiercely loyal to me.  Once, my sister and I were bickering a little, and when she walked past kitty, he took a swipe at her leg for no apparent reason.  Kitty wasn't aggressive towards people at all, so this move caught both of us by surprise.  I think he was making his point that he was on Team Jeff and she'd better watch her step.  At other times, he faced off with big dogs in an effort to protect me when he could have easily hidden under a nearby car.  I have no doubt he'd have killed and died for me had the opportunity ever arisen.  And if he had perceived a threat to me, and unleashing a bioweapon against my enemies was within his power, he'd have done it without a second thought.

Man, he was a great cat.  Even all these years later, I still miss my little buddy sometimes.

I'm sure someone has already written a science fiction story in which cats are in fact evil aliens just waiting for the command to destroy us all. 

I think the owner of this forum has written something along those lines.

[Maggie Ann]

Ricky Sides wrote Claws, although it's more horror than SciFi.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004I6D68A/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p3_i3

[Vijaya]

My own dearly departed cat was fiercely loyal to me.  Once, my sister and I were bickering a little, and when she walked past kitty, he took a swipe at her leg for no apparent reason.  Kitty wasn't aggressive towards people at all, so this move caught both of us by surprise.  I think he was making his point that he was on Team Jeff and she'd better watch her step.  At other times, he faced off with big dogs in an effort to protect me when he could have easily hidden under a nearby car.  I have no doubt he'd have killed and died for me had the opportunity ever arisen.  And if he had perceived a threat to me, and unleashing a bioweapon against my enemies was within his power, he'd have done it without a second thought.

Man, he was a great cat.  Even all these years later, I still miss my little buddy sometimes.

We need a :catlove emoji. My first cat was a real lover-boy and after all these years I still miss him.

I've loved watching Cats & Dogs the movie.    Maybe we need to make a list, but I find that cats in fiction are almost always evil, whereas dogs are depicted the good guys.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Anarchist]

[Jeff Tanyard]

(2020 school)

That would actually be an improvement.  Right now, "school" consists of third-grade girls booty dancing on Zoom for their teachers and classmates.  (Seriously; that's one of the anecdotes my teacher neighbor gave me.)

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Anarchist]

[elleoco]

Anarchist - That's not funny. It's realistically sad.

[Eric Thomson]

Anarchist - That's not funny. It's realistically sad.

In the same way as People of Walmart is realistically sad.... 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

That's one of the most realistic-looking mannequins I've ever seen.

[Maggie Ann]

Yes. All the UPS deliveries from online ordering.

[notthatamanda]

We could have some fun with this one.

"It's not corona I just did a couple of lines."

[LilyBLily]

Oddly, during my nightmarish experience at Walmart last week, I noticed that the people NOT wearing masks were in scooters or were their companions.

Being fat is not hazardous to anyone else's health unless the fat person crushes the annoying skinny person. You have been warned!

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

I think we're going to need a bigger boat.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[LilyBLily]

So It has come to this in 2020.
 
 
 
1. The dumbest, most useless thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
 
2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone.   He asked me what I was wearing.
 
3. In 2019:  Stay away from negative people.   In 2020:  Stay away from positive people
 
4. The world has turned upside down.  Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
 
5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog.  It was obvious she thought her dog understood her.  I came into my house & told my cat.  We laughed a lot.
 
6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom
 
7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet... or should we just only keep washing our hands?
 
8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do.  Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!
 
9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
 
10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
 
11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard.  I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
 
12. The  analogy "The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”   
 
13. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & asking for money.
 
14. The spread of COVID-19 is based on 2 things:   
     
     How dense the population is.
     How dense the population is.

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jeff Tanyard]

That's for real, man.  Sunglasses, safety goggles, whatever... masks fog all that crap up.

What kind of gear did Darth Vader use?  I'll bet his viewing lenses never fogged up.  I'd like to have something like that.

[TimothyEllis]

What kind of gear did Darth Vader use?  I'll bet his viewing lenses never fogged up.  I'd like to have something like that.

I'm actually surprised that hasn't become a thing.

[Eric Thomson]

What kind of gear did Darth Vader use?  I'll bet his viewing lenses never fogged up.  I'd like to have something like that.

I'm actually surprised that hasn't become a thing.

I was sorely tempted to find myself a Darth Vader helmet for my last Zoom meeting. I already use a Star Destroyer bridge background.

[Jeff Tanyard]

I already use a Star Destroyer bridge background.

[Luke Everhart]

Not a graphic meme but definitely a lighter side thing.
(This is satire obviously and hilarious!)
--- from the Babylon Bee
With many Americans eager to get back to work, state governors across the country are responding with their plans for giving everyone permission to be normal human beings again. One state governor is enjoying universal acclaim after unveiling his own innovative plan for getting his state reopened.
The new plan is called 'Our Vision for Health, Safety, Virtue, and Eternal Peace' and is a 37-step, 10-year plan for slowly opening up sections of the state economy. It reads as follows:

1. Form an exploratory committee to consult various experts on reopening things
2. Set date to hear recommendations from the exploratory committee
3. Create a panel of experts to explore the recommendations recommended by the exploratory committee
4. Build a brand new website to post exploratory committee recommendations for public comment
5. Discuss feedback from health experts over catered seafood lunch
6. Wait 4 weeks to see if catered seafood lunch led to any additional COVID infections
7. Hire commission to gauge the effectiveness of collaboration over catered seafood lunches
8. Take away all the guns
9. Announce a 12-phase reopening of the economy, starting with the businesses with the best lobbyists
10. Begin Phase 1
11. Form a new committee to review the effectiveness of Phase 1 before moving on to Phase 2
12. Order drones from China and post them in front of every hair salon
13. Draft new legislation to allow voting by show of hands over Facebook live
14. Announce reopening of all golf courses in close proximity to the statehouse
15. Hold public hearings on the effectiveness of the implementation of Phase 1
16. Repeat parts 1-15 until all 12 phases are completed
17. Form an exploratory committee to research alternate food sources now that catered seafood no longer available
18. Draft legislation allowing people to eat squirrels and possums
19. Overturn squirrels and possums legislation after animal rights groups protest
20. Hire animal rights groups to enforce the overturning of the legislation in order to protect squirrels and possums
21. Introduce tax bill to fund arming all police officers with harpoon guns and spears
22. Strengthen the security of governors mansion with sniper towers and tiger pits
23. ...Maybe also a moat around the governor’s mansion
24. More drones from China, maybe bigger ones
25. Pass new legislation to fund hiring more enforcers to enforce things
26. Build checkpoints across the state to distribute milk and guzzoline
27. Create jobs by hiring welders to install armor plating on police cars
28. (redacted)
29. (redacted)
30. (redacted)
31. (redacted)
32. (redacted)
33. (redacted)
34. (redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)
35. (Super-secret surprise to be determined later)
36. Open the rest of the economy
37. Gladiator games anyone?

Other states have announced they will wait 10-15 years to judge the effectiveness of this 37 part plan before releasing their own plans.

(link to piece https://babylonbee.com/news/governor-unveils-innovative-37-step-plan-to-reopen-state-over-the-next-10-years?utm_content=buffer4cb21&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer  )

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Good one

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Especially for the wordsmiths 

[TimothyEllis]

From Jan:

https://writersanctum.com/Covid-KFC.mp4

I didn't see that coming.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

From Jan:

https://writersanctum.com/Covid-KFC.mp4

I didn't see that coming.

Nor did they  . Sad commentary on job loss and hunger, but at least the victim saw the funny side. 

[TimothyEllis]

This about sums it up:

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

Of course they were wearing masks then.

How else do you make sure people don't identify whose butt was on view at any given time.

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Anarchist]

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Courtesy of Private Eye 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Courtesy of Private Eye 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

More from Private Eye 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

More from Private Eye

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Another from Private Eye 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Our kind of joke 

[Vijaya]

lol. that's a great sign, jan.

[Lynn]

Our kind of joke 

That's a good one. LOL.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Maggie Ann]

 

[Anarchist]

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Simon Haynes]

 

[Vijaya]

simon, if anybody could make an adventure out of going nowhere, enid blyton's the one.

jan, loved the vaccine/politician quote.

[TimothyEllis]

Aren't they breaking quarantine just by meeting up? 

[Simon Haynes]

Aren't they breaking quarantine just by meeting up? 

Not even a deadly disease can outwit the Famous Five.

[Eric Thomson]

Aren't they breaking quarantine just by meeting up? 

Nah. They're a pod. Or whatever you call it. Pod people. There you go.
 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Should be setting an example by wearing masks 

Who is missing? Are they in isolation or in hospital 

[Eric Thomson]

Should be setting an example by wearing masks 

Who is missing? Are they in isolation or in hospital 

Someone had to draw the picture, so that would be your fifth pod person.

[Simon Haynes]

Timmy, the dog. He's in the pic too.

[Anarchist]

[Jeff Tanyard]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Timmy, the dog. He's in the pic too.

Your memory is better than mine 

[Simon Haynes]

I did re-read them a fair bit ;-)

[LilyBLily]

I did re-read them a fair bit ;-)

That's so cute.

Sorry.

[Eric Thomson]

 

[Eric Thomson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[TimothyEllis]

 
 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Many a true word ... 

[TimothyEllis]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I think a lot of people will be doing this over the festive season     tot measure = shot glass

[notthatamanda]

I get the joke but what's a tot-measure? Never heard of that before.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I get the joke but what's a tot-measure? Never heard of that before.

I think you might call it a 'shot glass'. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[notthatamanda]

Ah.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

For our Aussie members 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Good one 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Maggie Ann]

All good ones, Jan.  Thanks.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Ouch 

[notthatamanda]

I love you for this Jan. Keep them coming. (Not to be bossy.)

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I love you for this Jan. Keep them coming. (Not to be bossy.)

Word use especially for writers 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[LilyBLily]

 

[Anarchist]

I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83.

On the plus side my IQ test came back positive.

[Anarchist]

Quarantine has turned us into dogs.

We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I can relate to this 

[Anarchist]

Ever since the pandemic started, every morning I proudly announce to my family that I’m going for a jog and then I don’t.

It’s my longest running joke of the year so far...

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Another one for writers 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Lockdown truths 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

For all the husbands 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Too true 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

  true

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 I wonder how many future books, plays and films are going to be based on a covid theme 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

People who have actually passed a kidney stone will identify with this one 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Ouch 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Clever 

[notthatamanda]

Thank you for all of these Jan.

[djmills]

I love these. I start the day with a smile. Thanks. :-) 

[LilyBLily]

    

[VanessaC]

Thank you so much for keeping these going Jan - much appreciated!

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Thanks for your thanks.    Glad you are enjoying these. 

[Vijaya]

Thank you, Jan. I enjoy the laughs you provide. A friend posted this about some signs on a synagogue and it's too good not to share:
Thou shalt not covid thy neighbour's wife.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Thank you, Jan. I enjoy the laughs you provide. A friend posted this about some signs on a synagogue and it's too good not to share:
Thou shalt not covid thy neighbour's wife.

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[idontknowyet]

that is totally wrong the guy has pants on
you know you cant zoom with pants on its against the law

[Maggie Ann]

that is totally wrong the guy has pants on
you know you cant zoom with pants on its against the law

I was thinking the same thing. At least he has bedroom slippers on.   

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

that is totally wrong the guy has pants on
you know you cant zoom with pants on its against the law

I was thinking the same thing. At least he has bedroom slippers on.   

How do you know they are not pyjama pants? 

[Maggie Ann]

that is totally wrong the guy has pants on
you know you cant zoom with pants on its against the law

I was thinking the same thing. At least he has bedroom slippers on.   

How do you know they are not pyjama pants? 

Because they don't have Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker all over them. I'm assuming the Winnie the Pooh are in the wash.
 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

The new refrain:
"You're late."
"Sorry. Had to go back for my mask."😏 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Home Schooling at its best. Not quite covid related, but cute. 

[Vijaya]

Aw, so sweet! Those little puppy tails.

[idontknowyet]

sheep dont look that cute now. they look like dirty cotton balls.

The puppies on the other hand. soo cute!

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Especially for us 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

 

[Vijaya]

Good one Jan.

[Maggie Ann]

Excellent!

[LilyBLily]

The jousting painting shows how King Henri II of France was mortally wounded. (He actually died some hours later.) Henry VIII over in England also got injured--knocked out cold--in the tilt about 25 years previously. After Henri's death, I don't think kings participated much or at all.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

꧁• If you see me leaving this group, please add me again. It's just that I’m so desperate to go out! 🙄

꧁• Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself entering a bank, wearing a mask, and asking for money. 😄

꧁• Never thought my hands would one day consume more alcohol than my liver... ever!😝

꧁• Lock down seems like a Netflix series: just when you think it's over, they release the next season.🤩

꧁• I’m starting to like this mask thing. I went to the supermarket yesterday and two people that I owe money to didn’t recognize me. 🤪

꧁• Those complaining that we didn’t have enough holidays, what now? 😍

꧁• I need to social distance myself from my fridge; I tested positive for excess weight! 😋

꧁• I’m not planning on adding 2020 to my age. I didn’t even use it! I don't know about 2021. Does it exist?😁

꧁• We want to publicly apologize to the year 2019 for all the bad things we said about it. 😃

꧁• To all the ladies who were praying for their husbands to spend more time with them — how are you doing? 🤣

꧁• My washing machine only accepts pyjamas these days. I put in a pair of jeans and a message popped up : “Stay Home " 😂

2019: Avoid negative people
2020: Avoid positive people
2021: Avoid people because you don’t know if they are positive or negative
Can't wait for 2022

[LilyBLily]

 

[TimothyEllis]

I just saw this one on Quora.

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

I just saw this one on Quora.

 

  Good one.

[Eric Thomson]

This picture was taken shortly before the cat became the main ingredient in Chicken Meow Mein, I gather?

[TimothyEllis]

How is this not a real question being asked? 

(Found on Quora.)

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

How is this not a real question being asked? 

(Found on Quora.)

   

[Post-Crisis D]

Has this one been posted?

Covid-19 Fact: 87% of gym members don't even know their gym is closed.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Has this one been posted?

Covid-19 Fact: 87% of gym members don't even know their gym is closed.

 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Many things have changed since this thread began 

[Maggie Ann]

Many things have changed since this thread began 

Where can I get one of those?

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Many things have changed since this thread began 

Where can I get one of those?

  Sorry, I don't have any idea. Pic came to me via WhatsApp. Maybe you could Google it. 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

Does this irk any other writer of children's books?  It seems to me that whatever kind of celebrity they are they feel the need to write a children's book. We've had Sarah Ferguson - the Duchess of York, Paul McCartney, Prince Charles, Meghan Markle and a few others I can't remember. Instant publisher acceptance and wide publicity 

[LilyBLily]

If they really wrote the books themselves, I'd consider them unqualified to write them. But I seriously doubt they even did that. They had an idea, and someone was paid to flesh it out, because the publisher knew the celebrity name would sell it. If you think it through, is there any reason in the world to want your child to read a book "written" by Madonna? Um, no.

Selling children's books has always been one of the very hardest roads for authors. Really, really hard even if you have ins with publishers. So these instant books make it even harder for legit authors. Thanks, Famous Person with No Talent.

Not that every children's book that gets published is wonderful; many are horrible. Assume these celebrity books are the worst of the worst and pass them by. Chances are, your children won't be missing a thing.

[Vijaya]

Nah, it doesn't irk me. Celebrity books make money for publishers. It supports us midlisters. And hey, I also wrote a couple of pandemic books, lol

[TimothyEllis]

Just saw on Quora.

[Jeff Tanyard]

1666
   ∫     Boredom dt = Calculus
1665



 

[TimothyEllis]

From FB

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

That's one way to keep busy during lockdown.  Reminds me of the knitted balaclavas during the Great War (not that I was there  )

[TimothyEllis]

Just saw this on quora.

[Maggie Ann]

Just saw this on quora.

Ooops!   

[TimothyEllis]

Another one from Quora.

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

  so true 

[Jan Hurst-Nicholson]

If you are a Brit you will appreciate this one. 

[Maggie Ann]

If you are a Brit you will appreciate this one. 

I come from a seaside town. I don't dare go there with a pizza.

[LilyBLily]

Not a Brit, but memorably had to fight off many gulls after my takeaway fish and chips up in Inverness.

[Jeff Tanyard]

Not a Brit, but memorably had to fight off many gulls after my takeaway fish and chips up in Inverness.

Those British gulls are no joke.  They were the inspiration for Daphne du Maurier's short story which in turn inspired the famous Hitchc*ck film.