I have avoided jumping into this discussion. I wonder if I'll even post this when I'm done writing it. Maybe I'll delete it. I don't know yet. I guess we'll find out.
What if I were to call you a grymapelef?
Are you honored?
Are you offended?
You probably don't know how to feel.
You don't know what the word means.
The word itself has no power.
When I was younger, there was a saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
One might argue that words can persuade, inspire, motivate or even hurt.
But they cannot.
Words only have power insomuch as they have meaning.
A word with no meaning has no power.
A word with meaning has only the power we give to it.
If you tell me I'm not a real writer unless I do this, that or the other, your declaration has no power over me except that which I choose to give it.
Now what if I were to call you a grymapelef?
Are you honored?
Are you offended?
You still don't know because you don't know what the word means.
If I tell you the word is something offensive, do you take offense at being called a grymapelef?
If I tell you the word is something complimentary, are you honored by being called a grymapelef?
If I tell you in some places it is an insult and others it is a compliment, how do you feel if you're called a grymapelef?
Is your reaction based on your preconceived definition of the word?
Or do you have no reaction until you know what the speaker means by it?
Either way, the word itself has no power.
And once it has meaning, it has only the power you give it.
And that means you choose whether or not to be offended.
If you are told you must be offended when someone uses the word grymapelef and you then take offense when someone uses the word, then you have lost your agency because you have let others decide how you feel.
If you are offended by the word grymapelef, then people who use the word have power over you.
If I want to offend you, I need only call you a grymapelef.
If I want to make you mad, I need only call you a grymapelef multiple times.
By choosing to take offense from the word, you have given me power over you.
You no longer get to choose.
I can choose when you're offended.
I just say, hey, grymapelef!
And I change your feelings.
I change your mood.
I change your mindset.
I have power over you.
Power you've chosen to give me.
A certain series of sounds manipulates you.
A certain series of letters manipulates you.
You think it's an involuntary response, but it's not.
You've chosen how to react to a certain word.
By doing so, you've given someone else power over you.
Freely.
By choice.
For that, people will debate endlessly.
Because some people take offense at some words, we must do this, that or the other.
Complex rules are developed over who and how words can or cannot be used in order to not cause offense to those who would choose to be offended.
People like to make things complicated.
It's really very simple.
You just have to remember one thing.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
