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Writer's Haven => Quill and Feather Pub [Public] => Topic started by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 27, 2019, 05:09:44 AM

Title: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 27, 2019, 05:09:44 AM
If a couple who are  in their 70s and 80s are in a romantic relationship how do they introduce their romantic partner to friends? The couple are not living together, but are having a sexual relationship. Boyfriend and girlfriend doesn't seem quite right for that age group.  :icon_rolleyes:

I've rejected:
Partner (could be a business partner)
Friend (doesn't take romance into account)
Friend with benefits (too much information, and doesn't take the romance into account)
Paramour (would send some people to the dictionary and it's more applicable to an illicit relationship)
Lover (too explicit)
Manfriend/womanfriend/ladyfriend (nah)
Life partner (might imply they are living together, and 'life' at their age would probably bring on a smile)
Companion (could be a paid companion and not a romantic partner)
Mate (nah, could be a workmate)

Any other ideas, or should I stick to boyfriend/girlfriend?
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Simon Haynes on October 27, 2019, 05:20:44 AM
I'd say partner, and the meaning is all in the context.

If I was in a social setting with a business partner, I'd introduce them as a 'business partner', definitely not as my 'partner'.

In a business setting, such as a meeting with the bank to discuss financing an acquisition, I think it would be clear which type of partner they were too.

If there's any doubt, you hold their hand whilst introducing them as your partner. (This works in some parts of the world, not others.)

Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Shoe on October 27, 2019, 05:25:13 AM
Just have them introduce each other by their names.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on October 27, 2019, 05:30:43 AM
My main squeeze
My beau
My guy
My gal
My sweetheart

This is a tough one. I agree that boyfriend/girlfriend isn't right for us geezers. In fact, I don't like it for anyone over thirty.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: 123mlh on October 27, 2019, 05:35:13 AM
Friend or partner would've been the two I would've suggested depending on the seriousness of the relationship.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Lynn on October 27, 2019, 05:36:41 AM
The casualness of boyfriend/girlfriend would make me choose something like "my close friend... whoever".

If any of my older relatives introduced someone as a close friend, without further explanation (oh, we've known each other since high school, etc), I'd probably think they meant boyfriend/girlfriend unless someone told me otherwise.

Because a friend is a friend but anyone who needs to be introduced with an intensifier is a step beyond. :D
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 27, 2019, 05:44:11 AM
Thanks for the ideas  :Tup2: . I think introductions as a friend while holding hands is a good idea (expect that teenage grandchildren could find it gross  :hehe). I also like 'my guy' or my 'gal.'
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: PermaStudent on October 27, 2019, 05:46:37 AM
After my grandmother passed, my grandfather dated continuously, even after he went into an elder care facility, until the end.

He introduced his girlfriends as "my friend" or just by name. I think he felt his more personal relationship and status wasn't anybody else's business. He was also from an era where the thinking was that one should be able to infer the relationship when seeing a man going out with a woman frequently.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 27, 2019, 05:55:38 AM
After my grandmother passed, my grandfather dated continuously, even after he went into an elder care facility, until the end.

He introduced his girlfriends as "my friend" or just by name. I think he felt his more personal relationship and status wasn't anybody else's business. He was also from an era where the thinking was that one should be able to infer the relationship when seeing a man going out with a woman frequently.

Good point, but in an elder care facility there are far more women than men and some women want to make sure that everyone knows when a man is 'taken'  grint .
Perhaps there is also a subtle distinction between 'a' friend and 'my' friend.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on October 27, 2019, 06:12:18 AM
After my grandmother passed, my grandfather dated continuously, even after he went into an elder care facility, until the end.

He introduced his girlfriends as "my friend" or just by name. I think he felt his more personal relationship and status wasn't anybody else's business. He was also from an era where the thinking was that one should be able to infer the relationship when seeing a man going out with a woman frequently.

Good point, but in an elder care facility there are far more women than men and some women want to make sure that everyone knows when a man is 'taken'  grint .
Perhaps there is also a subtle distinction between 'a' friend and 'my' friend.

Which leads to my good friend or my close friend.

Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: cecilia_writer on October 27, 2019, 06:57:14 AM
Judging by the romantic disasters my mother-in-law went through in her 70s and 80s, I feel that 'my nemesis' might be appropriate!
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Paranormal Kitty on October 27, 2019, 07:23:48 AM
Special friend? I hear that on television a lot, but usually it's kind of a joke like they're pretending they're just friends.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: JA Wallace on October 27, 2019, 08:16:46 AM
I lived in a 55 and older community for a few years and folks usually said something like, Mary is dating John. They're seeing each other. They're living together. They're going out. They're a "thing". They've been together for years. They're a couple. They never said boyfriend or girlfriend that I can recall. Hope this is helpful.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Lorri Moulton on October 27, 2019, 09:33:39 AM
Significant other?  How long has that term been around?

I like 'my very good friend' since that seems to imply more than friends only.  :kiss:
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: dgcasey on October 27, 2019, 03:04:06 PM
My latest fling
My bed warmer
My main squeeze

 :doh: :hehe

I'm 61 and not married to my Honey Bunny and I just introduce her as my sweetie. We've been together for over 11 years now.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: TimothyEllis on October 27, 2019, 03:45:32 PM
I just introduce her as my sweetie.

What does a 2000 year old Timelord call his other half?

"Hello Sweetie."

Admittedly the other half started it, but he did call her the same on occasion.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 28, 2019, 03:00:54 AM
I lived in a 55 and older community for a few years and folks usually said something like, Mary is dating John. They're seeing each other. They're living together. They're going out. They're a "thing". They've been together for years. They're a couple. They never said boyfriend or girlfriend that I can recall. Hope this is helpful.

I think 'they're a couple' is used quite often, but I've also heard 'I see the boyfriend is here' when a car (or mobility scooter  :icon_rofl: ) is parked overnight outside someone's cottage  Grin.
Any of the above expressions are ok if you're talking about someone else, but actually introducing someone is a bit more tricky. However, just using a name can also work. 
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on October 28, 2019, 05:05:38 AM
How about particular friend. Very Jane Austen.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 28, 2019, 05:26:55 AM
How about particular friend. Very Jane Austen.

 Grin
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: alhawke on October 28, 2019, 12:18:10 PM
I thought about your question making sure to purposefully avert my eyes from your list first. Partner was the first thing that came to mind. I also like couple. That's my vote.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 28, 2019, 08:11:12 PM
I thought about your question making sure to purposefully avert my eyes from your list first. Partner was the first thing that came to mind. I also like couple. That's my vote.

Thanks. You can introduce someone as your partner, but couple is for other people to reference. I suppose 'significant other' might be another option.  Grin
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: notthatamanda on October 28, 2019, 09:49:28 PM
Hi, this is Jane/John, we've been dating/together for x weeks/months now?

I honestly don't think it's necessary.  Just introduce them by name.  Adults really don't care about who's dating/living with/sleeping with who. Well, I shouldn't speak for everyone, but I don't.  Who your relatives are dating, maybe.

Based on my friend's experiences with her mom dating, you say nothing and let the body language explain it all.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on October 29, 2019, 12:09:16 AM
I forgot about these.

Lady friend
Gentleman friend

or just for fun

My geezer
My geezerette
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Vijaya on October 29, 2019, 12:24:49 AM
I'd use "my friend, Name" and let the body language speak for itself.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Post-Doctorate D on October 29, 2019, 06:39:53 AM
Consider the opposite too.  How would the same person introduce someone who is not their boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if that someone might be a lifelong friend or good friend or some other close relationship that is not romantic in nature?
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on October 29, 2019, 07:28:20 AM
Consider the opposite too.  How would the same person introduce someone who is not their boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if that someone might be a lifelong friend or good friend or some other close relationship that is not romantic in nature?

Then I would just use their name when introducing them to someone.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: notthatamanda on October 29, 2019, 07:37:31 AM
Consider the opposite too.  How would the same person introduce someone who is not their boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if that someone might be a lifelong friend or good friend or some other close relationship that is not romantic in nature?

I kind of think this is more important. "Hi, everyone, this is Susan, my cousin visiting from Ohio. Bob said the more the merrier at the BBQ so..."
Otherwise everyone's sitting there wondering if Susan and John are dating and ick.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on October 30, 2019, 02:21:34 AM
Consider the opposite too.  How would the same person introduce someone who is not their boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if that someone might be a lifelong friend or good friend or some other close relationship that is not romantic in nature?

I kind of think this is more important. "Hi, everyone, this is Susan, my cousin visiting from Ohio. Bob said the more the merrier at the BBQ so..."
Otherwise everyone's sitting there wondering if Susan and John are dating and ick.

This is very true. After my husband passed away his friends were very good about helping me to clear the garage etc, and they would visit me to see how I was getting on. I always introduced them as a 'friend of my late husband' and to make it even clearer I would tag on about them helping me.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Anarchist on October 30, 2019, 02:56:34 AM
Consider the opposite too.  How would the same person introduce someone who is not their boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if that someone might be a lifelong friend or good friend or some other close relationship that is not romantic in nature?

I think the appropriate introduction would be, "Hey, this is my friend Tom. We don't hump."
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: okey dokey on November 04, 2019, 01:16:48 AM
An introduction by name with a pat on the rump will work.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: RappaDizzy on November 04, 2019, 02:26:41 AM
I would prefer being introduced as “My Booty-Buddy.”

At my age, it would tick off another box on my bucket list...being considered as a sexual object.  grint
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jeff Tanyard on November 04, 2019, 07:28:58 AM
I would prefer being introduced as “My Booty-Buddy.”


(https://i.imgur.com/TZtaOdP.gif)
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on November 09, 2019, 06:29:04 PM
I think 'beau' might be a good way to introduce a 'boyfriend'.  Grin.  Probably have youngsters looking bemused and might even send them to the dictionary. Not sure of the female equivalent.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Doglover on November 09, 2019, 08:30:24 PM
I am 71 and if I had such a thing as a man friend, I might introduce him as my friend, as I would consider the romantic aspect to be nobody else's business. On the other hand, knowing my warped sense of humour, I might also be inclined to introduce him as 'my bit on the side'.  :dog1:
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on November 09, 2019, 11:22:40 PM
I think 'beau' might be a good way to introduce a 'boyfriend'.  Grin.  Probably have youngsters looking bemused and might even send them to the dictionary. Not sure of the female equivalent.

It's Belle. What was that old song? Am I remembering correctly? Michelle, ma  belle. Yes, here are the lyrics.

Michelle, ma belle
These are words that go together well
My Michelle
Michelle, ma belle
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble
I love you, I love you, I love you
That's all I want to say
Until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that you'll understand

Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jan Hurst-Nicholson on November 09, 2019, 11:27:46 PM
I think 'beau' might be a good way to introduce a 'boyfriend'.  Grin.  Probably have youngsters looking bemused and might even send them to the dictionary. Not sure of the female equivalent.

It's Belle. What was that old song? Am I remembering correctly? Michelle, ma  belle. Yes, here are the lyrics.

Michelle, ma belle
These are words that go together well
My Michelle
Michelle, ma belle
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble
I love you, I love you, I love you
That's all I want to say
Until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that you'll understand

 grint :Tup2:
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on November 09, 2019, 11:32:28 PM
I think 'beau' might be a good way to introduce a 'boyfriend'.  Grin.  Probably have youngsters looking bemused and might even send them to the dictionary. Not sure of the female equivalent.

It's Belle. What was that old song? Am I remembering correctly? Michelle, ma  belle. Yes, here are the lyrics.

Michelle, ma belle
These are words that go together well
My Michelle
Michelle, ma belle
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble
I love you, I love you, I love you
That's all I want to say
Until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that you'll understand

 grint :Tup2:

"I'd like you to meet my Belle."
"Hello, Belle, pleased to meet you."

Same thing with Beau. Could make for some amusing dialogue, though.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: YouMeWe on November 09, 2019, 11:57:51 PM
Consider the opposite too.  How would the same person introduce someone who is not their boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if that someone might be a lifelong friend or good friend or some other close relationship that is not romantic in nature?

I think the appropriate introduction would be, "Hey, this is my friend Tom. We don't hump."

 :icon_rofl: Where I'm from, we use the terms 'lady friend' 'man friend' and 'damn lucky' for those that do.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: kdiem on November 10, 2019, 02:06:01 AM
Romantic:

My lady/my man NAME
My good/close/dear friend
My [pet name] (sweetie, main squeeze, cuddlebuns, etc)


Platonic:

My best friend
My friend
My pal
My buddy
My work/church/bingo buddy
My [specific role] (study partner/neighbor/coworker/cousin/etc)

My *guess* would be someplace that used "mate" to refer to friends could replace friend with mate.
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Jeff Tanyard on November 10, 2019, 06:54:27 AM
I'll add "cher" as an option.

https://www.louisianatravel.com/articles/how-speak-cajun
Title: Re: What is the seniors equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend?
Post by: Maggie Ann on November 10, 2019, 09:12:24 AM
I'll add "cher" as an option.

https://www.louisianatravel.com/articles/how-speak-cajun

Cher Amie is a phrase that's also used.