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Writer's Haven => Marketing Loft [Public] => Topic started by: JRTomlin on June 10, 2020, 03:44:17 AM

Title: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 10, 2020, 03:44:17 AM: Specifically ones for AMD. Gah! I am so bad at this. Anyone have any tips for what works. :doh:
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: PJ Post on June 11, 2020, 02:17:17 AM: Create an action-oriented and evocative metaphor for the most basic/central theme of the story.

Star Wars: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Alien: In space, no one can hear you scream

Ferris Bueller's Day Off: One man's struggle to take it easy.

Jaws: You'll never go in the water again.

Platoon: The first casualty of war is innocence.

The Good the Bad and the Ugly: For three men the civil war wasn't hell. It was practice.

Bonnie and Clyde: They're young, they're in love, and they kill people.

Treasure of the Sierra Madre: The nearer they get to the treasure the farther they get from the law.

Grosse Pointe Blank: Even a hitman deserves a second shot.

Mars Attacks!: Nice Planet. We'll take it

https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/best-movie-taglines/ (https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/best-movie-taglines/)
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 11, 2020, 04:41:06 AM: Those are all great tag lines, but I don't see them all as 'action-oriented'. Interestingly enough for action movies, neither the Star Wars nor the Platoon ones are that action-oriented. Evocative is good, but a tad vague.

Thanks for the link. I'll read the article. I am desperately bad at taglines.

I wonder what the tagline was for Braveheart or 300. I hate both movies but it would be interesting to know their taglines.

A little checking turns up this for Braveheart: The story of a man with a free soul...and with the courage to follow it.

For 300 this sux imo as the original tagline: Feel the wrath in IMAX
However this later tagline isn't bad: Spartans, prepare for glory
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: notthatamanda on June 11, 2020, 04:59:14 AM: Braveheart-

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573/taglines

300 -
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416449/taglines

I don't think "Feel the wrath in Imax" will work for you though. :)
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: PJ Post on June 11, 2020, 05:11:52 AM: I couldn't think of the right way to say it. By action-oriented, I meant that the tagline should suggest something happening - a specific activity/action/verb that functions as a hook. The Alien one uses 'scream' as the action; Platoon suggests death, so 'dying' is the implied verb; Bueller is 'struggling'; Star Wars uses the ellipsis to imply the action of the story itself. The action is specific to the theme and gives it meaning.

Quote from: notthatamanda on June 11, 2020, 04:59:14 AM
Braveheart-
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573/taglines

300 -
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416449/taglines

All of these follow the same pattern.

Not sure if I'm making more sense or less.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 11, 2020, 05:12:59 AM: You're making sense, it is just so hard to pinpoint what makes a line great.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 11, 2020, 05:14:35 AM: Quote from: notthatamanda on June 11, 2020, 04:59:14 AM
Braveheart-

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573/taglines

300 -
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416449/taglines

I don't think "Feel the wrath in Imax" will work for you though. :)
Thanks. I did turn those up when I did a search. The taglines for 300 were not exactly inspiring. But the tagline for Braveheart makes me think. I could possibly do something with that, not copying it but using the same general pattern.

My problem may well be that I don't strip mine down enough. In my Kingdom's Cost tagline, do I REALLY need to point out that Scotland was conquered?
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: notthatamanda on June 11, 2020, 06:05:25 AM: What's the line now?
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 11, 2020, 06:09:27 AM: Still thinking it over. Something along the lines of "The story of a man with a love for Scotland's freedom ... and with the courage to fight for it." Or just 'a love for freedom'? Do I need Scotland in there? My cover pretty much screams Scotland so it may not be needed in the tagline.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: notthatamanda on June 11, 2020, 06:17:56 AM: A man's love for Scotland knows no bounds. Now he must muster the courage to fight for it.

Sorry, you didn't ask for suggestions. Feel free to ignore.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 11, 2020, 06:42:23 AM: Suggestions are great. But I don't think I want to imply that he doesn't have the courage for the fight. 😜

Maybe "A man whose love for Scotland knows no bounds ... or his courage to fight for it." (Does that make sense? 🤔) Or 'courage to fight for its freedom'?
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: notthatamanda on June 11, 2020, 06:46:38 AM: Love for his country. The courage to fight for it. Read the story behind the history, the man, in Tomlin's er...name of book?
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 11, 2020, 06:59:28 AM: No need to include the title since the ads include the cover. 😜
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: PJ Post on June 11, 2020, 10:49:02 PM: One man. One nation. One destiny.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: Mysterywriter on June 13, 2020, 03:35:52 AM: Quote from: PJ Post on June 11, 2020, 10:49:02 PM
One man. One nation. One destiny.

This is the good stuff right here
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 13, 2020, 03:55:23 AM: Does it matter if the tag line does not make sense with the plot and basic premise? 🤔
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: notthatamanda on June 13, 2020, 05:27:20 AM: You want to create enough intrigue for them to click on the ad. The blurb is where you really need to hook them.

What's the character's biggest obstacle in the book? I'll take another shot at it, if you want. I like writing ad copy. It's short!
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 13, 2020, 05:40:19 AM: Yes, I understand the function of the two. Suggestions are always appreciated. It depends on the novel. I'm rewriting several taglines -- or trying to.

In A Kingdom's Cost, the obstacle is fighting the overwhelming English conquering army while staying alive. In A King Ensnared, it is regaining his freedom from the English and claiming his crown as King of Scots. (Putting it simplistically of course)

At the moment the tagline for AKC is "Scotland has been conquered, but James is convinced their cause is not lost. Join him in Scotland's fight for freedom..."
The current tagline for AKE is "Captured but undefeated, James fights to regain his freedom and his crown..."

Different Jameses by the way separated by a century.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: notthatamanda on June 13, 2020, 06:46:24 AM: King Ensnared - After (how long was he imprisoned again?) 13 long years, James is ready to leave his life as a royal hostage behind and claim his birthright-The King of Scots

Kingdom's Cost - The war will claim X (number of lives) men. One man must survive. He is Scotland's only hope.

Or - Ten thousand will die under his command. But James will stop at nothing to bring his beloved Scotland to freedom once more.

Hope you can get something out of these.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 13, 2020, 06:59:39 AM: Thanks for trying. I appreciate it.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: PJ Post on June 14, 2020, 04:27:15 AM: Taglines work best if the narrative is implied, rather than stated. They need to project character, consequence and whatever emotion is central to the theme/genre. They have to be over-the-top hooky.

Quote
Captured but undefeated, James fights to regain his freedom and his crown...

In this example, what does the crown represent, thematically, in the story? How many people are fighting for it? Why does each feel they are deserving? What happens if James fails? What happens if he succeeds? How does the notion of freedom impact the fight?

A good tagline should project the emotional answers to these questions, while still pitching a thrilling narrative mystery.

Which is all much easier to discuss than to actually do. Writing is hard.
Title: Re: How to write tag lines
Post by: JRTomlin on June 14, 2020, 05:12:12 AM: I think you're asking a bit too much of a single line. I can't even think of a tagline that I would say did all that, definitely not the ones we've used as examples. The Braveheart tagline does not even say (or really even imply) that there is a war, much less how many people are fighting, or what happens if he fails.