Author Topic: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread  (Read 4018 times)

Michelle Louring

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Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« on: September 20, 2018, 05:22:58 PM »
Okay, cards on the table: I was basically born a grumpy old geezer. I have on more than one occasion yelled at neighborhood kids to "Get off my lawn!"
But I try to keep Grumpy Michelle contained by encouraging others to spread positivity (as long as it's not those darn kids...), so I thought my first thread on this forum should be a completely off-topic, positive one  Grin

Basically, I want you all to share funny stories, jokes, pictures of puppies and whatever else you think might put a smile on someone's face. 
But don't worry, we can totally make a separate "Rant About Everything"-thread as well!
Crazy owl lady. I also occasionally write Fantasy books, but the owl is really all anyone cares about.

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guest14

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2018, 05:30:26 PM »
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
THERE’S A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. WHO’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE-UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES.
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2018, 05:54:55 PM »
Not funny, but I think this might be impressive enough to be worthy of a smile.

This video was recorded and filmed in a single take and is also a very good vocal and musical performance.


     
 
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Simon Haynes

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2018, 05:57:12 PM »
I posted this on Twitter a couple of days ago, hence the brevity (for once, not usually my thing ...):


I once had to speak at a primary school

Teacher: Who likes Harry Potter?

Kids: YAY!

Teacher: Isn't JK Rowling amazing?

Kids: YAY YAY!

T: Well, we have a wonderful surprise for you today!

Kids: REALLY!?

Parents: OMG WHAT!?

Me: Uh-oh

T: Yes, it's SIMON HAYNES

 ... crickets. Small boy crying.


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Michelle Louring

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2018, 05:57:41 PM »
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

Snorted water up my nose, but I guess I asked for that  :icon_lol:

I'm out of puppy pictures, so you guys need to make do with an owl in a scarf:
Crazy owl lady. I also occasionally write Fantasy books, but the owl is really all anyone cares about.

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Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2018, 06:03:05 PM »
Perhaps this will put a few grins on some faces:


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Anarchist

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2018, 02:34:38 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mark Gardner

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2018, 02:39:40 AM »
So...
I was on a panel at Phoenix Fan Fusion (Previously Phoenix Comic Fest, but never to be referred to as Phoenix Comicon for legal reasons). The panel was called "Marching Orders," and was about writing realistic military sci-fi.

I showed up to the panel about half an hour early- just as the previous panel was letting out. I sat in the audience and waited. The chairs started filling in around me, and when the room was ready, I started making up stuff about all the panelists. At first, it was plausible- "Did you know that Melinda Snodgrass wrote the entire third season of ST:TNG?" (She only wrote "Measure of a Man.) Then, I ramped it up: "Did you know that Sylvain Neuvel and Fabio were competitors in Milan?" Then I went to bizarre world: "Did you know that Old Man's War is an autobiography, and that John Scalzi is a time-traveling Space Marine?"

By this time, the room is full, and the panel is supposed to start. Kevin Ikenberry is like, "Where's Gardner?" John Scalzi surveys the crown and points me out. "He's in the audience." The entire panel audience simultaneously turns to look at me, so I wave and run up to the stage. At the Q&A stage, a congoer asks, "Mark Gardner said that when Scalzi appeared  for this panel, he would rise from the stage floor and there would be smoke effects and light effects." Scalzi turns to him without missing a beat and replies, "And that's exactly what happened. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
 

R H Auslander

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2018, 04:27:43 AM »
You wanted puppy and dog photos? Here ya go. Sophia, my blue girl, newborn to mature.  [attach id=0 msg=1444]  [attach id=1 msg=1444]  [attach id=2 msg=1444]
 

EB

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2018, 06:09:56 AM »
You're welcome.
 

Anarchist

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2018, 06:11:21 AM »
You're welcome.


Laughing while mildly disappointed is a strange feeling. ;)

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2018, 08:47:22 AM »
I was promised puppies.  I'd prefer kittens but I was promised puppies.  But then we get beavers and birds.  Beavers and birds!  Look, if birds are going to be allowed, prepare for shock and awwww.  Not right now, mind you, but when I can go take some pictures.  Should have taken more when they were tiny babies but they're grown up now.  I digress.  Prepare!!!  SHOCK AND AWWWW!
     
 
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Mark Gardner

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2018, 08:53:31 AM »
I was promised puppies.  I'd prefer kittens but I was promised puppies.  But then we get beavers and birds.  Beavers and birds!  Look, if birds are going to be allowed, prepare for shock and awwww.  Not right now, mind you, but when I can go take some pictures.  Should have taken more when they were tiny babies but they're grown up now.  I digress.  Prepare!!!  SHOCK AND AWWWW!
I gotchu dude.
[
 

guest14

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2018, 04:43:53 AM »


SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.
 

Anarchist

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2018, 04:56:37 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
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idontknowyet

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #15 on: September 27, 2018, 05:23:06 AM »


SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.

:icon_lol2: 
 

Eric Thomson

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #16 on: September 27, 2018, 05:26:13 AM »
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
THERE’S A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. WHO’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE-UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES.
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

Why do I never get messages like this?  Am I not worthy?
*sniff*
Can't I get a little love too?
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #17 on: October 09, 2018, 03:20:03 PM »
     
 
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Cathleen

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #18 on: October 09, 2018, 04:59:29 PM »
Not puppies--but this is probably the funniest TV skit I've ever seen--Robin Williams and Carol Burnett, both in top form. :)

&t=1s
 

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2018, 04:05:37 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
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Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2018, 05:59:25 AM »
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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #21 on: October 11, 2018, 04:34:22 AM »
If your jimmies are easily rustled, I recommend against watching this. On the other hand, if you occasionally find yourself chuckling at the professionally offended, this might be for you...


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

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MRRodriguez

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2018, 11:48:54 PM »
Aw, this should make any writer smile. Tricking spam people into giving you a quote for your nonexistent book.

Books are all wide.
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #23 on: October 22, 2018, 06:23:57 AM »
James Veitch is hilarious.   :icon_rofl:



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Anarchist

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2018, 10:01:50 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #25 on: October 24, 2018, 10:31:57 AM »
Smile . . . or else.
     
 
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Tonyonline

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #26 on: October 29, 2018, 03:05:19 AM »
 

YouMeWe

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #27 on: October 31, 2018, 11:51:43 PM »
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
THERE’S A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. WHO’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE-UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES.
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

 :icon_lol2: Made me check my messages!


This works for me:

Pleez scoose n e errers, eyes lerrnin diktashun.
 

YouMeWe

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #28 on: October 31, 2018, 11:55:05 PM »


In my house, that's the distinction between stupid and suicidal.
Pleez scoose n e errers, eyes lerrnin diktashun.
 

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #29 on: November 05, 2018, 05:09:36 AM »

Non-fiction, Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website
 
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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #30 on: November 13, 2018, 06:52:35 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #31 on: November 14, 2018, 04:08:07 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

VisitasKeat

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #32 on: November 15, 2018, 09:21:23 PM »
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AGBjI0x9VbM

Worth watching several times!
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

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Jan Hurst-Nicholson

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #33 on: November 15, 2018, 09:58:25 PM »

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VisitasKeat

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #34 on: November 16, 2018, 02:15:20 AM »
Your face will bloom into laughter! grint Grin :icon_mrgreen: :icon_rofl: :hehe

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zfy9VqGzZKE
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

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dgcasey

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #35 on: November 16, 2018, 04:48:27 AM »
T: Yes, it's SIMON HAYNES

 ... crickets. Small boy crying.

Didn't Valdemort kill him?
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dgcasey

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #36 on: November 16, 2018, 04:52:43 AM »
Okay, two videos for this thread. This first one has got to be the funniest scene in the movie The Incredibles 2.

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dgcasey

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #37 on: November 16, 2018, 04:57:01 AM »
And for the second video, probably the funniest skit from the Carol Burnett show.

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #39 on: November 22, 2018, 01:28:45 AM »
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #40 on: December 18, 2018, 05:03:59 PM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

notthatamanda

 
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notthatamanda

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #42 on: December 18, 2018, 11:20:26 PM »
Kid's teacher just sent this to me this morning.  I never tried to attach something on a forum before, so fingers crossed.   :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em Parade of earless llamas cause she likes them.

 

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #43 on: December 19, 2018, 12:31:08 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

dgcasey

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #44 on: December 19, 2018, 04:45:05 AM »


Very funny, except his middle name is Richard.
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Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #45 on: December 19, 2018, 05:16:28 AM »


Very funny, except his middle name is Richard.

That means he's MR Pence to you.  :hehe
     
 
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Jan Hurst-Nicholson

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #46 on: December 19, 2018, 07:18:39 PM »
Wishing all the Sanctum members well over the festive season and all you wish for yourselves in 2019
(my little dog already has her stocking out in preparation for her gifts  grint)


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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #47 on: December 20, 2018, 01:09:53 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Marti Talbott

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #48 on: December 20, 2018, 01:42:13 PM »
My friend at work brought me a bouquet of dead roses. Said his wife didn't want them anymore.
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dgcasey

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Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #49 on: December 20, 2018, 05:07:54 PM »


What's really funny is that we've fought our way to the top of the food chain only to have a bunch of people telling us we need to become vegetarians.  I'm gonna have a steak and taters dinner tonight just to show my disagreement with them. 

 Grin
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