Author Topic: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread  (Read 4021 times)

Michelle Louring

  • Novella unlocked
  • **
  • Posts: 184
  • Thanked: 51 times
  • Gender: Female
  • The owl is pure evil. Don't let him fool you.
Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« on: September 20, 2018, 05:22:58 PM »
Okay, cards on the table: I was basically born a grumpy old geezer. I have on more than one occasion yelled at neighborhood kids to "Get off my lawn!"
But I try to keep Grumpy Michelle contained by encouraging others to spread positivity (as long as it's not those darn kids...), so I thought my first thread on this forum should be a completely off-topic, positive one  Grin

Basically, I want you all to share funny stories, jokes, pictures of puppies and whatever else you think might put a smile on someone's face. 
But don't worry, we can totally make a separate "Rant About Everything"-thread as well!
Crazy owl lady. I also occasionally write Fantasy books, but the owl is really all anyone cares about.

https://michellelouring.com/
 
The following users thanked this post: KFaitour, VisitasKeat

guest14

  • Guest
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2018, 05:30:26 PM »
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
THERE’S A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. WHO’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE-UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES.
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2018, 05:54:55 PM »
Not funny, but I think this might be impressive enough to be worthy of a smile.

This video was recorded and filmed in a single take and is also a very good vocal and musical performance.


     
 
The following users thanked this post: Mark Gardner

Simon Haynes

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2018, 05:57:12 PM »
I posted this on Twitter a couple of days ago, hence the brevity (for once, not usually my thing ...):


I once had to speak at a primary school

Teacher: Who likes Harry Potter?

Kids: YAY!

Teacher: Isn't JK Rowling amazing?

Kids: YAY YAY!

T: Well, we have a wonderful surprise for you today!

Kids: REALLY!?

Parents: OMG WHAT!?

Me: Uh-oh

T: Yes, it's SIMON HAYNES

 ... crickets. Small boy crying.


Also yWriter, free novel-writing software for Windows PCs.
 

Michelle Louring

  • Novella unlocked
  • **
  • Posts: 184
  • Thanked: 51 times
  • Gender: Female
  • The owl is pure evil. Don't let him fool you.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2018, 05:57:41 PM »
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

Snorted water up my nose, but I guess I asked for that  :icon_lol:

I'm out of puppy pictures, so you guys need to make do with an owl in a scarf:
Crazy owl lady. I also occasionally write Fantasy books, but the owl is really all anyone cares about.

https://michellelouring.com/
 
The following users thanked this post: Ace Fletcher

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2018, 06:03:05 PM »
Perhaps this will put a few grins on some faces:


v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2018, 02:34:38 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mark Gardner

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2018, 02:39:40 AM »
So...
I was on a panel at Phoenix Fan Fusion (Previously Phoenix Comic Fest, but never to be referred to as Phoenix Comicon for legal reasons). The panel was called "Marching Orders," and was about writing realistic military sci-fi.

I showed up to the panel about half an hour early- just as the previous panel was letting out. I sat in the audience and waited. The chairs started filling in around me, and when the room was ready, I started making up stuff about all the panelists. At first, it was plausible- "Did you know that Melinda Snodgrass wrote the entire third season of ST:TNG?" (She only wrote "Measure of a Man.) Then, I ramped it up: "Did you know that Sylvain Neuvel and Fabio were competitors in Milan?" Then I went to bizarre world: "Did you know that Old Man's War is an autobiography, and that John Scalzi is a time-traveling Space Marine?"

By this time, the room is full, and the panel is supposed to start. Kevin Ikenberry is like, "Where's Gardner?" John Scalzi surveys the crown and points me out. "He's in the audience." The entire panel audience simultaneously turns to look at me, so I wave and run up to the stage. At the Q&A stage, a congoer asks, "Mark Gardner said that when Scalzi appeared  for this panel, he would rise from the stage floor and there would be smoke effects and light effects." Scalzi turns to him without missing a beat and replies, "And that's exactly what happened. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
 

R H Auslander

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2018, 04:27:43 AM »
You wanted puppy and dog photos? Here ya go. Sophia, my blue girl, newborn to mature.  [attach id=0 msg=1444]  [attach id=1 msg=1444]  [attach id=2 msg=1444]
 

EB

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2018, 06:09:56 AM »
You're welcome.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2018, 06:11:21 AM »
You're welcome.


Laughing while mildly disappointed is a strange feeling. ;)

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2018, 08:47:22 AM »
I was promised puppies.  I'd prefer kittens but I was promised puppies.  But then we get beavers and birds.  Beavers and birds!  Look, if birds are going to be allowed, prepare for shock and awwww.  Not right now, mind you, but when I can go take some pictures.  Should have taken more when they were tiny babies but they're grown up now.  I digress.  Prepare!!!  SHOCK AND AWWWW!
     
 
The following users thanked this post: Mark Gardner, Ellie Drake

Mark Gardner

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2018, 08:53:31 AM »
I was promised puppies.  I'd prefer kittens but I was promised puppies.  But then we get beavers and birds.  Beavers and birds!  Look, if birds are going to be allowed, prepare for shock and awwww.  Not right now, mind you, but when I can go take some pictures.  Should have taken more when they were tiny babies but they're grown up now.  I digress.  Prepare!!!  SHOCK AND AWWWW!
I gotchu dude.
[
 

guest14

  • Guest
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2018, 04:43:53 AM »


SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2018, 04:56:37 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: Cathleen

idontknowyet

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #15 on: September 27, 2018, 05:23:06 AM »


SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.

:icon_lol2: 
 

Eric Thomson

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #16 on: September 27, 2018, 05:26:13 AM »
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
THERE’S A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. WHO’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE-UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES.
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

Why do I never get messages like this?  Am I not worthy?
*sniff*
Can't I get a little love too?
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #17 on: October 09, 2018, 03:20:03 PM »
     
 
The following users thanked this post: Mark Gardner

Cathleen

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #18 on: October 09, 2018, 04:59:29 PM »
Not puppies--but this is probably the funniest TV skit I've ever seen--Robin Williams and Carol Burnett, both in top form. :)

&t=1s
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2018, 04:05:37 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: kdiem

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2018, 05:59:25 AM »
v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #21 on: October 11, 2018, 04:34:22 AM »
If your jimmies are easily rustled, I recommend against watching this. On the other hand, if you occasionally find yourself chuckling at the professionally offended, this might be for you...


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

MRRodriguez

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2018, 11:48:54 PM »
Aw, this should make any writer smile. Tricking spam people into giving you a quote for your nonexistent book.

Books are all wide.
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #23 on: October 22, 2018, 06:23:57 AM »
James Veitch is hilarious.   :icon_rofl:



v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2018, 10:01:50 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #25 on: October 24, 2018, 10:31:57 AM »
Smile . . . or else.
     
 
The following users thanked this post: Mark Gardner

Tonyonline

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #26 on: October 29, 2018, 03:05:19 AM »
 

YouMeWe

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #27 on: October 31, 2018, 11:51:43 PM »
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
THERE’S A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. WHO’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE-UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES.
SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

 :icon_lol2: Made me check my messages!


This works for me:

Pleez scoose n e errers, eyes lerrnin diktashun.
 

YouMeWe

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #28 on: October 31, 2018, 11:55:05 PM »


In my house, that's the distinction between stupid and suicidal.
Pleez scoose n e errers, eyes lerrnin diktashun.
 

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

  • Novella unlocked
  • **
  • Posts: 238
  • Thanked: 49 times
  • Don't let your emotions overpower your intellect
    • Just4kix Books
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #29 on: November 05, 2018, 05:09:36 AM »

Non-fiction, Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website
 
The following users thanked this post: VisitasKeat

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #30 on: November 13, 2018, 06:52:35 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: VisitasKeat

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #31 on: November 14, 2018, 04:08:07 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #32 on: November 15, 2018, 09:21:23 PM »
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AGBjI0x9VbM

Worth watching several times!
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

  • Novella unlocked
  • **
  • Posts: 238
  • Thanked: 49 times
  • Don't let your emotions overpower your intellect
    • Just4kix Books
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #33 on: November 15, 2018, 09:58:25 PM »

Non-fiction, Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website
 

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #34 on: November 16, 2018, 02:15:20 AM »
Your face will bloom into laughter! grint Grin :icon_mrgreen: :icon_rofl: :hehe

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zfy9VqGzZKE
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 
The following users thanked this post: Jeff Tanyard

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #35 on: November 16, 2018, 04:48:27 AM »
T: Yes, it's SIMON HAYNES

 ... crickets. Small boy crying.

Didn't Valdemort kill him?
All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #36 on: November 16, 2018, 04:52:43 AM »
Okay, two videos for this thread. This first one has got to be the funniest scene in the movie The Incredibles 2.

All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #37 on: November 16, 2018, 04:57:01 AM »
And for the second video, probably the funniest skit from the Carol Burnett show.

All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 
The following users thanked this post: Jan Hurst-Nicholson

Jeff Tanyard

v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #39 on: November 22, 2018, 01:28:45 AM »
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #40 on: December 18, 2018, 05:03:59 PM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

notthatamanda

 
The following users thanked this post: KFaitour

notthatamanda

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #42 on: December 18, 2018, 11:20:26 PM »
Kid's teacher just sent this to me this morning.  I never tried to attach something on a forum before, so fingers crossed.   :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em :banana-riding-llama-smiley-em Parade of earless llamas cause she likes them.

 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #43 on: December 19, 2018, 12:31:08 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #44 on: December 19, 2018, 04:45:05 AM »


Very funny, except his middle name is Richard.
All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #45 on: December 19, 2018, 05:16:28 AM »


Very funny, except his middle name is Richard.

That means he's MR Pence to you.  :hehe
     
 
The following users thanked this post: Mark Gardner

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

  • Novella unlocked
  • **
  • Posts: 238
  • Thanked: 49 times
  • Don't let your emotions overpower your intellect
    • Just4kix Books
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #46 on: December 19, 2018, 07:18:39 PM »
Wishing all the Sanctum members well over the festive season and all you wish for yourselves in 2019
(my little dog already has her stocking out in preparation for her gifts  grint)


Non-fiction, Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website
 
The following users thanked this post: Electric Dan, notthatamanda

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #47 on: December 20, 2018, 01:09:53 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Marti Talbott

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #48 on: December 20, 2018, 01:42:13 PM »
My friend at work brought me a bouquet of dead roses. Said his wife didn't want them anymore.
Author of over 50 books available everywhere, even Walmart.
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #49 on: December 20, 2018, 05:07:54 PM »


What's really funny is that we've fought our way to the top of the food chain only to have a bunch of people telling us we need to become vegetarians.  I'm gonna have a steak and taters dinner tonight just to show my disagreement with them. 

 Grin
All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #50 on: December 21, 2018, 12:03:26 AM »
What's really funny is that we've fought our way to the top of the food chain only to have a bunch of people telling us we need to become vegetarians.  I'm gonna have a steak and taters dinner tonight just to show my disagreement with them. 

 Grin

I'm cool with vegetarians and vegans promoting their way of eating. But I see a lot of posts by militant vegans. The kind who claim it's okay to murder a man who's going to slaughter a cow for food.

Scary.

But I'm going to console myself over breakfast with one of these (I'm 100% carnivore):




"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

spin52

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #51 on: December 21, 2018, 01:49:50 AM »
What's really funny is that we've fought our way to the top of the food chain only to have a bunch of people telling us we need to become vegetarians.  I'm gonna have a steak and taters dinner tonight just to show my disagreement with them. 

 Grin

I'm cool with vegetarians and vegans promoting their way of eating. But I see a lot of posts by militant vegans. The kind who claim it's okay to murder a man who's going to slaughter a cow for food.


Scary.

But I'm going to console myself over breakfast with one of these (I'm 100% carnivore):




There's just been publicity in the UK about vegans who harassed customers buying turkeys for Christmas, claiming the turkeys really wanted to live. My grandmother raised turkeys in the 1920s and said they were the stupidest birds in existence. When it rained, if they weren't brought under cover, they'd stand with their beaks open and drown. Does a bird like that really worry about its possible fate?


Traditional mysteries with a dash of humor -- no cats, no cupcakes.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #52 on: December 21, 2018, 03:16:10 AM »
There's just been publicity in the UK about vegans who harassed customers buying turkeys for Christmas, claiming the turkeys really wanted to live. My grandmother raised turkeys in the 1920s and said they were the stupidest birds in existence. When it rained, if they weren't brought under cover, they'd stand with their beaks open and drown. Does a bird like that really worry about its possible fate?

I read about the recent hubbub in the UK. It's surreal.

On a lighter note...



"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #53 on: December 22, 2018, 11:24:05 PM »
You will be genuinely happy when you free your mind and dance like a vagabond gypsy! Season's greetings, fellow travelers! :cheers :band: :lalala :banana: :dance:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xiEgSgHM8cc
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #54 on: December 26, 2018, 09:49:28 AM »
A soldier's homecoming.
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #55 on: December 31, 2018, 07:07:02 AM »
The Life of a Writer (we should start a new thread just with Snoopy)

All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #56 on: December 31, 2018, 07:15:04 AM »
And one more.

All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #57 on: December 31, 2018, 12:14:49 PM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #58 on: December 31, 2018, 12:33:14 PM »
Everyone's a critic.

 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #59 on: December 31, 2018, 01:30:55 PM »
It's hard to see the dog treats that land right on your forehead.




"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #60 on: December 31, 2018, 02:31:10 PM »
A cliffhanger "ending!"

(Only kidding. She made it, just got a little dusty.)
 

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

  • Novella unlocked
  • **
  • Posts: 238
  • Thanked: 49 times
  • Don't let your emotions overpower your intellect
    • Just4kix Books
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #61 on: December 31, 2018, 08:55:56 PM »

Non-fiction, Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website
 

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

  • Novella unlocked
  • **
  • Posts: 238
  • Thanked: 49 times
  • Don't let your emotions overpower your intellect
    • Just4kix Books
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #62 on: December 31, 2018, 08:58:56 PM »

Non-fiction, Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #63 on: January 02, 2019, 12:52:35 AM »
!
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #64 on: January 05, 2019, 04:33:39 PM »
A puppy picture for Dan.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #65 on: January 11, 2019, 06:40:46 AM »

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Tom Wood

  • Long Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 918
  • Thanked: 340 times
  • Whatever you imagine can make your life brand new.
    • Agents of DISRUPT
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #66 on: January 11, 2019, 07:09:23 AM »
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #67 on: January 28, 2019, 04:08:52 PM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #68 on: January 28, 2019, 04:44:03 PM »
:-)
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist, Laughing Elephant

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #69 on: January 30, 2019, 04:17:36 PM »
Police have discovered the culprit behind the current Polar Vortex.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #70 on: February 06, 2019, 10:18:50 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #71 on: February 07, 2019, 07:38:31 AM »
 :hehe
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #72 on: February 10, 2019, 04:01:40 AM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #73 on: February 10, 2019, 07:33:43 PM »


Hahahaha I'll never look at almond milk the same way again! I'm also finding myself wondering now where nut butter comes from  :icon_eek:



« Last Edit: February 10, 2019, 07:48:53 PM by Captain Cranky »
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist, Laughing Elephant

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #74 on: February 11, 2019, 09:06:07 AM »
 :catrun
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #75 on: February 11, 2019, 11:18:24 AM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Laughing Elephant

Tom Wood

  • Long Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 918
  • Thanked: 340 times
  • Whatever you imagine can make your life brand new.
    • Agents of DISRUPT
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #76 on: February 13, 2019, 07:41:13 AM »
 

Mark Gardner

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #77 on: February 13, 2019, 11:09:32 AM »
I got a new bed for the dogs:

 

Al Stevens

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 294
  • Thanked: 70 times
  • Gender: Male
  • Coffee-drinking, insomniac binge writer
    • Al Stevens, Author, Musician
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #78 on: February 13, 2019, 09:07:29 PM »
The publisher rejected my autobiography. That's the story of my life.
Genres: mystery, music, programming, science fiction, historical fiction


Author Central | Facebook Page | Mailing List Signup | Home Page |

Al Stevens is a retired author of computer programming books. For fifteen years he was a senior contributing editor and columnist for Dr. Dobb's Journal, a leading magazine for computer programmers. Al lives with his wife Judy and a menagerie of cats on Florida's Space Coast where he writes by day and plays piano, string bass, and saxophone by night.
 
The following users thanked this post: Electric Dan, Mark Gardner, Laughing Elephant

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #79 on: February 14, 2019, 03:13:25 AM »
The publisher rejected my autobiography.

Same here.  I self-publish.  :icon_think:
     
 
The following users thanked this post: Mark Gardner

Maggie Ann

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #80 on: February 14, 2019, 03:36:32 AM »
The publisher rejected my autobiography. That's the story of my life.

 :icon_rofl:
           
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #81 on: February 14, 2019, 12:44:03 PM »
 

Al Stevens

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 294
  • Thanked: 70 times
  • Gender: Male
  • Coffee-drinking, insomniac binge writer
    • Al Stevens, Author, Musician
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #82 on: February 18, 2019, 08:30:00 AM »
Last night, Judy thought I was getting amorous in bed, groping her. I was looking for the remote.
Genres: mystery, music, programming, science fiction, historical fiction


Author Central | Facebook Page | Mailing List Signup | Home Page |

Al Stevens is a retired author of computer programming books. For fifteen years he was a senior contributing editor and columnist for Dr. Dobb's Journal, a leading magazine for computer programmers. Al lives with his wife Judy and a menagerie of cats on Florida's Space Coast where he writes by day and plays piano, string bass, and saxophone by night.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #83 on: February 19, 2019, 08:12:18 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: Laughing Elephant

Laughing Elephant

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #84 on: February 19, 2019, 12:35:08 PM »
Climate Sandwiches:

Morning - snow drops from the heavens.

Afternoon - snowdrops reach up from the earth.

Perhaps the gods fancied a human sandwich
or maybe I stumbled upon a Supernatural set.

 :ices_angel_g:
 

Al Stevens

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 294
  • Thanked: 70 times
  • Gender: Male
  • Coffee-drinking, insomniac binge writer
    • Al Stevens, Author, Musician
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #85 on: February 19, 2019, 01:47:14 PM »
I've always had as an objective the ability to type as fast as I can think, which I believe would help me become a more prolific writer. I am here to announce that in my declining years, I have finally realized that goal. Only I still can't type very fast.
Genres: mystery, music, programming, science fiction, historical fiction


Author Central | Facebook Page | Mailing List Signup | Home Page |

Al Stevens is a retired author of computer programming books. For fifteen years he was a senior contributing editor and columnist for Dr. Dobb's Journal, a leading magazine for computer programmers. Al lives with his wife Judy and a menagerie of cats on Florida's Space Coast where he writes by day and plays piano, string bass, and saxophone by night.
 
The following users thanked this post: EC Sheedy

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #86 on: February 19, 2019, 04:29:22 PM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #87 on: February 19, 2019, 10:29:52 PM »
     :n2Str17: 
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #88 on: February 20, 2019, 03:22:00 AM »
Ain't nothing funny about this. But if you enjoy steak, you may still smile.




"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #89 on: February 22, 2019, 03:25:11 AM »
Are you an adult?

Are you unsexy?

Good news!  There's a wallet just for you!

https://www.amazon.com/Donalworld-Unsexy-adult-Orange-Leather-Wallet/dp/B00JYZ77UI/
     
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #90 on: February 22, 2019, 04:45:48 AM »
Are you an adult?

Are you unsexy?

Good news!  There's a wallet just for you!

https://www.amazon.com/Donalworld-Unsexy-adult-Orange-Leather-Wallet/dp/B00JYZ77UI/

I. Must. Not. Click. Buy. Button! (I'm breaking out in a cold sweat here. That wallet is so "Me." Unsexy-adult indeed!
All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

catowned

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #91 on: February 22, 2019, 07:23:59 AM »
That wallet is zipless and free of ulterior motives. How can it not be sexy?
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #92 on: February 22, 2019, 07:35:15 AM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 

Maggie Ann

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #93 on: February 23, 2019, 12:45:14 AM »
Got this in an email entitle Adult Truths.

The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

                (Ladies ... Quit Laughing! )
           
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #94 on: February 26, 2019, 09:04:41 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #95 on: February 27, 2019, 11:45:55 AM »
 :catrun     
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #96 on: February 27, 2019, 10:28:20 PM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #97 on: February 28, 2019, 02:39:00 PM »
 :Healing:
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #98 on: March 01, 2019, 07:58:56 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #99 on: March 03, 2019, 06:28:32 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #100 on: March 04, 2019, 07:07:06 AM »
 Grin
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #101 on: March 05, 2019, 09:32:49 AM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #102 on: March 11, 2019, 03:50:42 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #103 on: March 13, 2019, 01:20:16 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: VisitasKeat

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #104 on: March 13, 2019, 02:29:43 AM »
 Grin
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #105 on: March 14, 2019, 01:00:15 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #106 on: March 14, 2019, 06:00:17 AM »



The cat's grumpy because he can't decide who to murder first, the dog or the human.   :icon_mrgreen:
v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist

Tom Wood

  • Long Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 918
  • Thanked: 340 times
  • Whatever you imagine can make your life brand new.
    • Agents of DISRUPT
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #107 on: March 14, 2019, 11:26:58 PM »


Happy Pi Day!  :cheers
 
The following users thanked this post: Electric Dan

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #108 on: March 15, 2019, 06:12:27 AM »
Happy Pi Day!  :cheers


I made a Pi Day blog post for anyone who's interested.   :nerd:
v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #109 on: March 15, 2019, 03:24:22 PM »
I remember reading this years ago, I always thought it was hilariously accurate!

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Jeff Tanyard, Anarchist, dgcasey, Rosie Scott, Laughing Elephant, Tom Wood

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #110 on: March 15, 2019, 06:15:01 PM »
I remember that one, too, Captain.  It never gets old.   :icon_rofl:
v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky

Vijaya

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #111 on: March 16, 2019, 05:27:28 AM »
And still I'm a cat person, lol. My poor dog doesn't even know it.

Author of over 60 books and 60 magazine pieces, primarily for children
Vijaya Bodach | Personal Blog | Bodach Books
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #112 on: March 18, 2019, 09:04:06 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #113 on: March 18, 2019, 09:24:25 AM »
And still I'm a cat person, lol. My poor dog doesn't even know it.

Don't move to Connecticut. They wanna tax cats!

https://kicks1055.com/get-ready-connecticut-the-cat-tax-could-be-coming-soon/
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #114 on: March 20, 2019, 01:29:16 PM »
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #115 on: March 22, 2019, 05:42:17 AM »

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #116 on: March 22, 2019, 10:02:07 AM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #118 on: March 23, 2019, 03:33:12 PM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #119 on: March 24, 2019, 04:55:15 AM »
 Grin
 

okey dokey

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #120 on: March 24, 2019, 05:37:04 AM »
My preacher friend passed away a few years ago
He liked to recall his days as a young pastor in a small North Carolina town.
Late one night there was a loud knocking on his front door.
It was a young soldier with his young girlfriend.
"Preacher," the soldier said, "I've just got my orders to ship out tomorrow. Will you marry me and my girl tonight?"
But Preacher Justin shook his head.
"I can't do that," he said. "You need a marriage license and then a blood test. This is Friday night and the courthouse will be closed Satuday and Sunday. And it will be the middle of next week before you get the blood test results."
The girl grabbed the soldier's hand. Tears welled up in her eyes.
The soldier turned back to my friend.
"Well Preacher, could you say enough words over us to get us through the night?"

 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #121 on: March 27, 2019, 04:58:13 AM »

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky, Rosie Scott

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #122 on: March 27, 2019, 03:28:43 PM »
Grin

Wow! I remember that sign. That DQ is here in Las Vegas, though a few things have changed since this photo was taken. The DQ is now a tea shop and the Sav-On Drugs is now a CVS.
All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #123 on: March 28, 2019, 12:38:46 AM »
Guess the sign didn't really work!
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #124 on: April 02, 2019, 02:58:44 PM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #125 on: April 05, 2019, 07:10:22 AM »
     
 
The following users thanked this post: Jeff Tanyard

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #126 on: April 05, 2019, 08:40:59 AM »
Well, I want a baby panda now.   :heart:

In the meantime, here's a modern Major-General.   :icon_mrgreen:


v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 

Marti Talbott

Author of over 50 books available everywhere, even Walmart.
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #128 on: April 09, 2019, 09:11:26 AM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #129 on: April 11, 2019, 09:52:48 PM »
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #130 on: April 12, 2019, 01:04:00 PM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 
The following users thanked this post: Jeff Tanyard, Anarchist

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #131 on: April 13, 2019, 10:36:15 AM »

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #132 on: April 14, 2019, 06:05:44 PM »
I found a new title to read.

All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #133 on: April 16, 2019, 12:31:59 PM »


"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: Captain Cranky, Rosie Scott

dgcasey

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Thanked: 148 times
  • Gender: Male
  • I will not forget one line of this, not one day,
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #134 on: April 16, 2019, 02:50:28 PM »
The Avengers: Endgame I hope they show.

All available at Amazon, some available at B&N and some available God knows where
Dave's Amazon Author page | DGlennCasey.com | TheDailyPainter.com
 

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #135 on: April 17, 2019, 03:23:08 AM »
 :icon_rofl: Pink fun at THE DEAD DOG HOTEL!  :icon_rofl:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RzriJpYiGjw
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 

okey dokey

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #136 on: April 17, 2019, 04:29:01 AM »
My preacher friend explained that way back when they were translating the Bible into the King James version that paper was hand-made and very expansive. So part of the Creation story was edited.
He said this the real story of the Garden of Eden.

God was taking a much needed rest after six days of very hard work. But then Adam walked up.
"Sorry to bother you God. I've got a problem."
God was perplexed. "I thought I made you nice place in the Garden of Eden."

Adam agreed that the Garden was beautiful and comfortable. There was a nice river for swimming, plenty of tasty fruit, even an apple tree.

He sighed. "But God, I'm very lonely there. I need someone to share life with me. Could you make me a help-mate?"

God scratched his head. "You're right," God said. "You shouldn't have to live alone. I can make you a woman. She'll be perfect in every way. She'll bear your children. But she won't ask you to change the diapers. She'll take care of the 3 am feedings. She'll be perfect.
The woman will do all the house cleaning and dish washing with a smile on her face. Why, she won't fuss even if you stay out all night.
She'll be perfect."

Adam smiled from ear to ear. "That's great, God. Thank you.

God held up his hand. "But it's going to be lot of work and trouble to make a perfect woman. So it's going to cost you."

"That's only fair," Adam agreed. "After all, she'll be perfect. So what will it cost me?'
"An arm and a leg."
Adam was taken aback. "I know it'll take a lot of work for a perfect woman. But an arm and a leg? Wow!'

Adam started to walk away, but turned back.
"God? What could I get for, say, just a rib?"



 

Tom Wood

  • Long Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 918
  • Thanked: 340 times
  • Whatever you imagine can make your life brand new.
    • Agents of DISRUPT
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #137 on: April 17, 2019, 08:30:56 AM »
If you've never seen the movie The Emperor's New Groove, you are missing a treat. If you have, the extracted dialogue for Yzma at IMDB is fun to revisit:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120917/characters/nm0457755
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #138 on: April 21, 2019, 05:37:22 AM »
v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 
The following users thanked this post: Electric Dan

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #139 on: April 21, 2019, 05:54:54 AM »


The scenes come from Buffalo Rider (1978).  If the comments on the YouTube video are correct, the cougar scene was unscripted but the cameraman kept filming anyway.
     
 

Electric Dan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #140 on: April 21, 2019, 06:01:52 AM »


This song even mentions reading.

Also, for those that remember the original video coming out, the girl is 36 years old now.
     
 
The following users thanked this post: Rosie Scott

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #141 on: April 24, 2019, 03:55:43 PM »



I'm all for allowing business owners to discriminate. Their house, their rules.

But this "gender surcharge" seems like a bad business decision. lol
"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
The following users thanked this post: Rosie Scott

TimothyEllis

  • Forum Owner
  • Administrator
  • Epic Novel unlocked
  • ******
  • Posts: 1827
  • Thanked: 750 times
  • Gender: Male
  • Earth Galaxy somewhere, 2616
    • The Hunter Legacy Universe
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #142 on: April 26, 2019, 02:56:33 PM »
This question keeps popping up on Quora:

Why didn't the Nazis use the channel tunnel to invade Britain?

 :dizzy :shrug :hehe

100+ answers.

https://www.quora.com/Why-didnt-the-Nazis-use-the-channel-tunnel-to-invade-Britain

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #143 on: May 11, 2019, 04:02:00 AM »
Three syringes were found inside the inmate’s rectum. Not mine, he said.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article224069680.html
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #144 on: May 11, 2019, 06:07:21 AM »
Three syringes were found inside the inmate’s rectum. Not mine, he said.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article224069680.html


Florida Man always delivers the lulz.   :icon_mrgreen:

Florida Woman isn't quite as prolific, but she sometimes delivers, too:

Florida Woman Pulls Alligator out of Pants During Traffic Stop
v  v  v  v  v    Short Stories    v  v  v  v  v    vv FREE! vv
     
Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy (some day) | Author Website
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #145 on: May 11, 2019, 02:46:41 PM »

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 296
  • Thanked: 24 times
  • Following my characters. Wherever they take me.
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #146 on: May 16, 2019, 05:08:06 PM »
Will I become a bestselling author someday?
https://www.amazon.com/author/roxiepowers

"Whenever you sight a rainbow bridge, remember, my beloveds, there exists a magic mirror."
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #147 on: May 16, 2019, 05:49:12 PM »
.
Just keep your head down and keep on swinging.
 

Laughing Elephant

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #148 on: May 20, 2019, 01:29:36 AM »
.

On my usual Sunday stroll, I saw something unusual:

On a public verge banked high, circles of daffodils bowing down to swaying tulips - nothing but buttercups and daisies are the usual sights for this particular area.

It made me smile.

Of course, I'm thinking fairies decided to create some new homes for their elders because the human shops are closer and everyone knows fairies love shopping even more than the Kardashians. *.*


 grint
 

Anarchist

  • Ready Player One
  • Medium Novel unlocked
  • ***
  • Posts: 646
  • Thanked: 332 times
  • Methodological individualist
Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #149 on: June 11, 2019, 03:52:25 AM »
If this doesn't make you smile, you may be dead inside...




"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Vijaya

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #150 on: June 12, 2019, 01:03:33 AM »
Aw, sweet. Glad to see I'm not dead yet :)

Author of over 60 books and 60 magazine pieces, primarily for children
Vijaya Bodach | Personal Blog | Bodach Books
 
The following users thanked this post: Anarchist

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #151 on: June 18, 2019, 07:35:34 AM »
 :hehe