Fickle Finger of FB Advertising

[R. C.]

Friends,

Along with my Patreon launch, I'm working toward my largest book launch to date. Mark your calendars, November 20th is going to be a stellar day! Of course, "largest" in the context of funding. The platforms are restricted and selective. The main course will be FB and KDP with Written Word Media as the spice.

Here are two ADs I've been massaging. The wording is all mine. An AI created the original cover image, which I extensively modified and used to create the videos. Of course, there are wide and tall versions.

If it's garbage, let me know. If it's not, let me know. 

Thanks!
R.C.

[Bill Hiatt]

I like the general feel. The ad copy is well written.

The wide one looks sort of stretched out. The tall one (which I assume was the original) looks more natural.

Speaking of natural, a human voice would be better. The existing voiceover sounds a little AI-ish. The emotion is actually not bad, but a human would be more nuanced.

[Lorri Moulton]

I like it!  Top one is a better view IMHO.

One idea...I think the voice works if the aliens are the ones speaking.  What if you used, "We took his only light" rather than "they took his only light" and use the AI voice to your benefit?

[R. C.]

The recommendations are solid. Thanks! Above is the revised version.

R.C.

[Bill Hiatt]

It does make me want to read the book.

[Lorri Moulton]

That's good! 

[The Bass Bagwhan]

My only issue is that "cynical" seems out of kilter with the broader message, and "willing" was the same but not so much.