Help--- I stink at description

[idontknowyet]

I  broached this topic a while ago. I've been trying to increase the amount of description in my books. Sadly I stink at this. Royally. I can write pages and pages of dialogue, but ask for more than a sentence or three of description and I am completely tongue tied. I have tried writing parts of the stories where the character is completely alone therefore everything is description and I sit staring at the screen.

I read books and try to dissect them. I have noticed many of my favorite authors might have 4-6 lines of dialogue on the page the rest is description. I just can't seem to get it.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[notthatamanda]

Think about what the characters are seeing, hearing and smelling and why they would notice to it.  Why does it matter to them?

[Rosie Scott]

I used to absolutely suck at description in the books I wrote 10-20 years ago and stared at the screen like you do wishing I could be better. I love it to pieces now and find writing it to be like an art I strive to get ever better at. Looking back, I'm not sure where I "got it" but I'll try to offer as many suggestions as I can that help me.

1) Take an object and consider what makes it interesting and unique. Like notthatamanda said, why would characters notice it? Why does it stick out? Sometimes this helps me describe things as simple as hair color (copper-red versus fiery red and the way it glimmers in light at various hues) all the way to architectural design and how it relates to battle strategies (how does a city layout aid or hinder its takeover? Even describing building materials like stone, iron, or metal comes into play with strategies later on).

2) Utilize all senses. When describing stormy weather, for example, I could simply say the skies were gray. Or I could get immersed enough to describe everything that tickles the senses. The energetic spark in the air from the broody promises of the heavens. The scent of potential rainfall. The rumbling of thunder. Static in the air that tickles the skin. Transport that reader to your scene by describing where they are and what they are experiencing.

3) I love, love, love giving life to otherwise inanimate objects and lifeless subjects to help with descriptions. In the previous point, I mentioned stormy weather. Instead of simply describing that the gray clouds covered the sun and kept its light from reaching the earth I'd rather say, tumultuous clouds choked the sunlight. By giving human characteristics and actions to otherwise lifeless subjects (in this case, choking), I can spice up description and make it interesting rather than average.

4) This sounds primitive, but use a thesaurus. Just don't get pretentious with it and start spewing out high-level vocabulary left and right (ha).

5) Think about your inspiration for the scene. Why does this room look the way it does? Is it similar to one you've seen in a movie/real life? If so, why did it inspire you? Was it the color/the mood it portrayed/the people who shared it with you? Try to recreate that interest by describing what makes you as the author interested in this. Most of the descriptions in my fantasy novels are born out of my love for being immersed in this world I spent so long carefully building. I'm so excited and eager to share it with readers in the hopes they'll find certain locations as interesting and unique as I do. I want to immerse them by tugging them off of earth and into this world by showing them where they are. This passion only comes through if you let it.

Hopefully this helps in some way, shape, or form. In third grade, I remember a teacher tried to teach us about descriptive words. She pulled out a teddy bear and told us we weren't leaving until the chalkboard was covered with description. At first, I thought, How? Then, over time and by brainstorming with thirty different minds, we covered that chalkboard. Words like brown, fuzzy, small, fluffy, cuddly, cute, soft, rounded-ears, glossy eyes, and others sprang to life. Upon first glance, you could struggle to come up with more than three words to describe a simple teddy bear. But by taking the time to break it down to its individual parts and attractive qualities, we made that teddy bear the best-sounding plushy in the world. 

[TimothyEllis]

One of the reasons I prefer first person, is the need to describe comes down to the character I'm thinking in.

So early on, my main character didn't tend to notice things around him, and all he knew was what got his attention, or what he was told. As he grew, and I got better at writing, he noticed more.

After 2 years, I wrote my second series in 3rd person, because I now could. But I've since gone back to first.

One of the tricks I use in first person is paying attention to what is going on around me, and my own reactions to my writing.

So if there's a noise as I write something, and it is appropriate, I write it in. If I sigh, or cough, or feel some emotion as I write, I write it in. My characters lot a lot of sighing and laughing, and most of it comes from my own reactions to what I write.

As for descriptions, I leave a great deal to the reader. I describe the basics, but dont go into lots of details about people, or even places. Just what is needed for the story.

I allow my characters to express themselves. This is something important I think. There is a big difference between writing a character, and being the typist for your character. I do the latter, and I don't try to force them into a mold of my devising. What comes out can be widely different to what I expected. But the times I have a hard time writing, are when I'm trying to do it myself, and not letting the character do all the work.

I do have a short story which is 100% dialogue. 

[Jeff Tanyard]

My advice: think of the mood you want to set first.  Then describe the scene accordingly.  For example:

There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a c*cktail lounge.

The others cast themselves down upon the fragrant grass, but Frodo stood awhile still lost in wonder. It seemed to him that he had stepped through a high window that looked on a vanished world. A light was upon it for which his language had no name. All that he saw was shapely, but the shapes seemed at once clear cut, as if they had been first conceived and drawn at the uncovering of his eyes, and ancient as if they had endured for ever. He saw no colour but those he knew, gold and white and blue and green, but they were fresh and poignant, as if he had at that moment first perceived them and made for them names new and wonderful. In winter here no heart could mourn for summer or for spring. No blemish or sickness or deformity could be seen in anything that grew upon the earth. On the land of Lórien, there was no stain.

Saturday morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if the heart was young, the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step. The locust-trees were in bloom, and the fragrance of the blossoms filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above, it was green with vegetation, and it lay just far enough away to seem a Delectable Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting.

Hope that helps. 

[Betty Blast]

I recommend the book Write Great Fiction-Description and Setting by Ron Rozelle. Your description should tie into plot and character development.

[Vijaya]

idontknowyet, a wonderful way to train yourself is to practice writing what you observe using all your senses. Right here, right now. Go to different places and watch and listen and smell and taste. I also find this a great way to get out of a block because the writing has to be concrete and you don't have to overthink it. Then, for your stories, you will be moving around in the space of your imagination as your character does and observing through his or her eyes. Only note what your character would. The description should not only set the mood, but reveal something about your character and if possible, move the plot along.

[idontknowyet]

Take up screenwriting. Nobody reads the narrative, only the dialog.

It's not a bad idea but really who wants to work in Hollywood?

[Rosie Scott]

One of the reasons I prefer first person, is the need to describe comes down to the character I'm thinking in.

Yes, yes, yes! I love first-person for this reason as well. The MC of my main series was a war general and lover of architecture, so she noticed settlement weaknesses and advantages while viewing/describing the architecture. My next MC was a criminal necromancer who was constantly hunted down by assassins, mercenaries, and the like, so he was suspicious of certain body movements, the quieting of wildlife, and places without more than one escape route (ha). My MC now is a shapeshifting mercenary ship captain and trader, so he notices various things about people during haggling that could be financially beneficial to him (anxious sweating, impatience, ignorance about a product or market, etc.), and he also is able to describe ships with more detail than my other MCs because he knows more about them. These MCs are all from the same universe, but they have their various personality traits and strengths/weaknesses that play a role in description of land, body language, and the things they notice (or don't) about a scene to begin with.

First-person is so much fun to write because I get so immersed in each person's head and describe the world and situations from their point-of-view. I don't know if you write first or third-person, idontknowyet, but even if you write in third, considering perspective could also help you.

[idontknowyet]

Every one of my books are written in 1st person present. I'm in her head sorta. It's weird to describe my writing, but I don't consciously write words. I have a muse shall we call it talking in my head and I just write down the words as they happen.
My sister has a movie play in her head. I would at best call mine a radio show.

[Marti Talbott]

Every one of my books are written in 1st person present. I'm in her head sorta. It's weird to describe my writing, but I don't consciously write words. I have a muse shall we call it talking in my head and I just write down the words as they happen.
My sister has a movie play in her head. I would at best call mine a radio show.

Time to change from radio to movie? Writing a movie will make you set the scenes and show movement better by visualizing it for the reader. Just my opinion. (Disclaimer - I don't always follow my own advice.)

[VanessaC]

This is a great thread, and fantastic post from Rosie Scott earlier.

Building on other suggestions, one way of helping with description is to pick one or two sensory details in each scene. For example, if your character is walking in a forest there could be a crunch of leaves underfoot, or different coloured leaves around.

Also be aware of your own sense limitations - for example, I don't have a particularly sensitive sense of smell, and often don't notice everyday smells, but it's one of the most powerful senses to evoke, so I do include the occasional bits and pieces of smells and scents in my work. 

Often when I'm editing, I'll try to notice whether I've included sensory details in the scene and add more in.

[JRTomlin]

One of the reasons I prefer first person, is the need to describe comes down to the character I'm thinking in.

Yes, yes, yes! I love first-person for this reason as well. The MC of my main series was a war general and lover of architecture, so she noticed settlement weaknesses and advantages while viewing/describing the architecture. My next MC was a criminal necromancer who was constantly hunted down by assassins, mercenaries, and the like, so he was suspicious of certain body movements, the quieting of wildlife, and places without more than one escape route (ha). My MC now is a shapeshifting mercenary ship captain and trader, so he notices various things about people during haggling that could be financially beneficial to him (anxious sweating, impatience, ignorance about a product or market, etc.), and he also is able to describe ships with more detail than my other MCs because he knows more about them. These MCs are all from the same universe, but they have their various personality traits and strengths/weaknesses that play a role in description of land, body language, and the things they notice (or don't) about a scene to begin with.

First-person is so much fun to write because I get so immersed in each person's head and describe the world and situations from their point-of-view. I don't know if you write first or third-person, idontknowyet, but even if you write in third, considering perspective could also help you.

In deep third, you should be just as immersed in your character's head and showing the world through their eyes. That 1st person is more so is a myth, I suppose from people who don't write deep third.

As has been said, but I'll repeat it, you only what to notice in your writing what your PoV character would notice and pay attention to.

[Simon Haynes]

I write sparse descriptions, and use limited third person POV.  It's one reason my novels come in at 75k instead of maybe 120k words in length.

For my latest I've gone with first person, and it's certainly upped the length of the descriptions. It was a deliberate choice because I wanted to write a longer, and 20k words in I can tell it's working.

Unfortunately my emails, forum posts and tweets have all grown much longer as well.

[JRTomlin]

A little reminder that GRR Martin writes close 3rd and seems to have no problem with extensive description or long novels.

[Simon Haynes]

A little reminder that GRR Martin writes close 3rd and seems to have no problem with extensive description or long novels.

Yep, it's not related to POV. Some people just love to fill in the details.

I just find that first allows me more freedom to describe what the character is seeing, thinking and experiencing.

[PJ Post]

I'm not a fan of exposition. My workaround for description is to have the character interact with their environment. I don't have to say there's a pile of dead things, I have the character climb over them. The second workaround is to have them react to things, emotionally, psychologically or whatever, maybe it sparks a memory. The more I immerse my characters into the story world, and hopefully the reader as well, the less I have to out and out explain stuff - less telling, more experiencing. The other upside is it doesn't affect pacing or focus.

[JRTomlin]

A little reminder that GRR Martin writes close 3rd and seems to have no problem with extensive description or long novels.

Yep, it's not related to POV. Some people just love to fill in the details.

I just find that first allows me more freedom to describe what the character is seeing, thinking and experiencing.

You have that freedom in 3rd. You just don't take advantage of it. 😜

I think some people do have more trouble doing that in 3rd though. And if 1st works better for you, there's obviously nothing wrong with that. I am just pointing out that you can do the same thing in 3rd as well.

ETA: I cannot write historical novels in 1st. I've tried. Cannot. Do. It. But that's just me. I know people who do.