Author Topic: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread  (Read 2438 times)

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #100 on: March 04, 2019, 07:07:06 AM »
 Grin
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #101 on: March 05, 2019, 09:32:49 AM »
.
Keep your head down, keep on swinging.
 

Anarchist

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #102 on: March 11, 2019, 03:50:42 AM »


I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Anarchist

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #103 on: March 13, 2019, 01:20:16 AM »


I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 
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Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #104 on: March 13, 2019, 02:29:43 AM »
 Grin
 

Anarchist

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #105 on: March 14, 2019, 01:00:15 AM »


I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #106 on: March 14, 2019, 06:00:17 AM »



The cat's grumpy because he can't decide who to murder first, the dog or the human.   :icon_mrgreen:
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Tom Wood

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #107 on: March 14, 2019, 11:26:58 PM »


Happy Pi Day!  :cheers
 
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Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #108 on: March 15, 2019, 06:12:27 AM »
Happy Pi Day!  :cheers


I made a Pi Day blog post for anyone who's interested.   :nerd:
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Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #109 on: March 15, 2019, 03:24:22 PM »
I remember reading this years ago, I always thought it was hilariously accurate!

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
Keep your head down, keep on swinging.
 
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Jeff Tanyard

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #110 on: March 15, 2019, 06:15:01 PM »
I remember that one, too, Captain.  It never gets old.   :icon_rofl:
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Vijaya

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #111 on: March 16, 2019, 05:27:28 AM »
And still I'm a cat person, lol. My poor dog doesn't even know it.

Author of over 60 books and 60 magazine pieces, primarily for children
Vijaya Bodach | Personal Blog | Bodach Books
 
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Anarchist

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #112 on: March 18, 2019, 09:04:06 AM »


I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #113 on: March 18, 2019, 09:24:25 AM »
And still I'm a cat person, lol. My poor dog doesn't even know it.

Don't move to Connecticut. They wanna tax cats!

https://kicks1055.com/get-ready-connecticut-the-cat-tax-could-be-coming-soon/
 

Anarchist

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #114 on: March 20, 2019, 01:29:16 PM »
I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Anarchist

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #115 on: March 22, 2019, 05:42:17 AM »

I keep a stiff upper lip and shoot from the hip. - AC/DC
 

Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #116 on: March 22, 2019, 10:02:07 AM »
.
Keep your head down, keep on swinging.
 
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VisitasKeat

  • Short Novel unlocked
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"A scene, well-formed in mind, is worth thousands of words."

"Sales report addiction may lead to dysthymia."

"Go wide! Don't add all your posts into one forum!"
 
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Captain Cranky

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #118 on: March 23, 2019, 03:33:12 PM »
.
Keep your head down, keep on swinging.
 

Mammasan

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #119 on: March 24, 2019, 04:55:15 AM »
 Grin
 

okey dokey

Re: Make Your Fellow Board Members Smile Thread
« Reply #120 on: March 24, 2019, 05:37:04 AM »
My preacher friend passed away a few years ago
He liked to recall his days as a young pastor in a small North Carolina town.
Late one night there was a loud knocking on his front door.
It was a young soldier with his young girlfriend.
"Preacher," the soldier said, "I've just got my orders to ship out tomorrow. Will you marry me and my girl tonight?"
But Preacher Justin shook his head.
"I can't do that," he said. "You need a marriage license and then a blood test. This is Friday night and the courthouse will be closed Satuday and Sunday. And it will be the middle of next week before you get the blood test results."
The girl grabbed the soldier's hand. Tears welled up in her eyes.
The soldier turned back to my friend.
"Well Preacher, could you say enough words over us to get us through the night?"